


Something of An Autobiography: The Story of Hayley Grace Turner

by An_Abundance_of_Soph



Category: Being Human (UK), Supernatural, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Cancer, F/M, Heart Attacks, Kid Fic, Original Character Death(s), Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, happy marriage, heart problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-10 04:22:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 35,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2010765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Abundance_of_Soph/pseuds/An_Abundance_of_Soph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Jensen Ackles had a daughter when he was 17? Well this is the story of that girl.</p><p>    This is a story drawing on the Supernatural, Being Human UK and Lord of the Rings/Hobbit fandoms. I mean no copyright or offense. The people and events in the story while based on fact are used in an entirely fictional way.<br/>Also while most of this story follows the timeline of Jensen and Aidan in real life, I have added a 3 year gap between the events 2004 and 2005 in order to make Hayley the age I need her to be in 2010. so this means that as of 2014 Jensen in 39.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I previously posted this story but i am reposting as i have made some changes and restructured it a bit, so here you go :D
> 
> This is all of Hayley's back story. The real story will start next chapter

I like to think of myself as a fairly normal person. When you take away the fact that my dad is a famous actor, and that to some extent I’m becoming one myself. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I should start from the beginning. My name is Hayley Grace and I was born on the 25th of May 1992, in Dallas, Texas. My mum is (was) Melanie Walker and my dad is Jensen Ackles. Yes, that Jensen Ackles.  
My parents were both 16 when they found out my mum was pregnant, so needless to say it was a bit of a shock. My dad’s parents took it all in stride and promised to support my parents no matter what they decided to do, but as far as my mum’s parents were concerned it was a completely different story. At first they tried to force my mum to have an abortion but when that failed they gave her an ultimatum. Give me up for adoption or be disowned. My dad was adamant from the start that he wanted me, so my mum moved in with my dad and his family, and to this day I’ve only ever met my mum’s family once. It’s weird knowing that I have this whole other family who wants nothing to do with me because they don’t like my dad, but I guess you can’t miss something you don’t have.  
So anyway, once I came along, dad tells me things were great.  
When I was almost 2 my dad audition for a role on Days of Our Lives and got the part of Eric Brady, so my parents packed us up and we moved from Dallas to Burbank, California.  
We lived in Burbank for the next four years and from what I’m told life was pretty awesome. After dad left Days of Our Lives we moved around a bit while he worked on shows like Dark Angel, Dawson’s Creek and Smallville.  
It was while we were living in Vancouver for Smallville that mum got sick.  
I was 9 so I never got the complete story of what happened but mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and apparently by the time they found it, there wasn’t much to be done and doctors told us that they were going to focus on making her as comfortable as possible.  
8 months later she was gone.  
Dad left Smallville and we moved back to Texas to be with family and to bury mum in Dallas where she grew up. Her funeral was the first and last time I ever met her family. Her two brothers hugged me and told me how sorry they were and her parents spent the entire day avoiding me and dad. It never even bothered me, I was too numb to care.  
We spent the next few years living with my grandparents and just trying to get our lives back together.  
Dad stopped acting and I went to school in Dallas.  
And life went on around us.  
Then one day about 3 years after losing mum, my grandfather, Alan, landed a role in a small horror movie called Devour and somehow convinced dad to audition for the lead role. He got the role and even though the movie was awful it was enough to remind him that acting was what he loved doing and a few months after finishing filming we found ourselves in California on the set of Ten Inch Hero.  
The movie was filmed during the summer, so without school or anyone to look after me, dad was forced to bring me to set with him every day. Since I was going to be there all the time anyway I asked if I could audition for the character of Julia, who was an 8 year old girl. Even though I was 13 I was little for my age so dad agreed and I ended up landing the role.  
As cliché as it sounds, that movie changed our lives.  
I had the best time and I decided then and there, that I was going to be an actress when I was older. It was also on the set that dad met Danneel Harris, and after asking me if I was ok with it, they started dating. Dad was worried that I would blame him for replacing mum or forgetting her or something and maybe I should have been mad. But all I could see was that Danni made him smile, something I hadn’t seen since mum got sick. So how could something that made him happy be a bad thing? I didn’t even hesitate before I told him I thought it was a great idea.  
Less than a year later, dad scored a role as the lead on a Warner Bros show called Supernatural. So we moved back to Vancouver in Canada and we were finally happy again.  
After the first season the show seemed fairly popular and when it got picked up for another season dad decided that we couldn’t keep living in the little one bedroom apartment we’d been renting so we bought a house and dads co-star, Jared, moved in with us.  
Over the years the show just kept growing in popularity and the cast and crew became like one big, crazy family, one that I adore. So things were great. Dad and Danni were dating, I was doing well in school and our hearts were mending.  
So naturally everything went to hell while dad and Jared were filming Season 3, when I was 15.  
I’d been feeling short of breath for a few weeks and then one night I just couldn’t catch my breath. Dad rushed me to the hospital and we learned that my lungs had filled with fluid and I was basically drowning from the inside, the cause of which turned out to be cancer. Not the same type as my mum, but the word still chilled me to the bone. I couldn’t help but envision myself slowly die in the same way I’d watched my mum slip away from me. Now this isn’t a ‘cancer’ story so I’m not gonna spend much time talking about the medical jargon, but put simply; it sucked.  
I dropped out of school and underwent multiple rounds of chemo and radiation therapy as well as countless surgeries over the next year and a half. During which time we moved out of the house we had with Jared and moved in with Danneel. By this point I was 17 and I’d started to accept that I probably wasn’t going to survive what was happening to me. I made it my mission to insure that my dad was going to be ok when I died and I knew that that meant making sure Danneel would be there for him when I was gone. One afternoon in the hospital during a round of chemo therapy dad and I were curled up on a couch watching TV, and I remember asking him whether he loved Danni.

“Of course I do. Where did that come from?” he’d responded.  
“I was just wondering why you haven’t asked her to marry you” I’d told him directly.  
“Well…” he had started, “I guess it just doesn’t feel right to ask her while you’re sick. I mean it wouldn’t feel right for me to be happy… you know”. It had been at that point that I’d started to cry and he’d pulled me into a hug.  
“I want you to be happy dad. Chances are that we won’t get a time after I’m sick. Well I won’t,” I’d sniffled.  
“Baby, please don’t talk like that you know I don’t….”  
“We have to be honest with ourselves dad” I’d interrupted. “But if this does kill me I want to know you’ll be ok. I want you to live your life without me”.  
“Hayley…” he had begun before I’d cut him off again.  
“If I wasn’t sick would you propose?” He had nodded. “Then please, ask her. I want to see your wedding day. I want to wear a nice dress and I need to know you won’t push Danni away when I die. I want to be sure that you won’t be alone”.  
So later that week they’d gone out to a nice restaurant and Danneel had come home with a diamond on her left hand.  
I remember being so happy, seeing them so in love with each other.  
A few months after the proposal I went into remission, and 6 months later, just before Dad and Danneel got married, I decided I was ready to get back to acting.  
So just shy of my 18th birthday, a friend of dads let him know that a show he was working on in the UK was casting for an 18-20 year old female character. So I made an audition tape, using my best British accent and sent it off and a few weeks later I got a call to say I’d landed a small role as Lia on the BBC program Being Human and that I would need to be in London in 2 months’ time to start filming.


	2. Being Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley spends her first week on the set of Being Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so i had a little difficulty with the tone. With chapter one it was easy to write this story as though it is Hayley writing her autobiography but now it's starting to sound more like a diary so i don't know. Hopefully it still works

Less than a month after turning 18, and two weeks after watching Danneel walk to down the aisle and marry my dad, I flew to London. Dad and Jared drove me to the airport and I’m not too proud to admit that I cried. It was the first time dad and I had ever spent more than a few days apart and I knew how hard it was for him to let me go, but he knew it was something I needed to do. So I found myself in Heathrow airport, where the show had provided a car to pick me up and drive me the 3 hours to Barry, where the third season was being filmed. I arrived late in the day and went straight to my hotel room.  
The following day I made my way to the set, where I was greeted by one of the shows PA’s, who showed me to the set office for the first read through. My character would be appearing in the season premiere and as such I walked in on the cast, producers, writers and directors all greeting each other, after spending a few months apart. To say that I was nervous would have been the biggest understatement. In that moment I remember an overwhelming sense of anxiety and thinking that I was an idiot to think that I could be actress.  
Before I had a chance to completely freak myself out, a tall, stunningly good looking guy noticed me standing in the doorway and made his way over towards me. I had enough time to take in his dark wavy hair, green knitted jumper and deep maroon jeans, before he was standing in front of me with an outstretched hand that was accompanied by a cheerful, “Hey there gorgeous, you must be the Canadian, Hayley-Grace. I’m Aidan”. I was momentarily startled by his thick Irish accent, before taking his hand and responding with a quiet, “Just Hayley, and I’m not Canadian, I just live there”. He laughed at that and oh my lord did that smile light up the room. I couldn’t help but smile back as he led me over and started introducing me to the other people in the room. Over the next few hours we read through the full script for the first episode of the season a few times and one of the other cast members Russell gave me some tips on my accent. We worked through lunch and dinner, with PA’s bringing us meals and before I even realised, it was 8pm and we were being told to get out of there. With a few polite farewells I made my way back to my hotel room and I couldn’t help grinning from ear to ear. The other actors had been really nice, and I hadn’t made too many mistakes. I was starting to think I would actual be able to pull off being an actress. I went to sleep that night really looking forward to filming.   
The next week was spent with the hair, make-up and wardrobe departments all trying different looks to see which one would be right for my character, Lia. Occasionally I would run into one of the 3 main cast members and over the course of the week I started to form friendships with all of them.  
I woke to the sound of my alarm the first day of filming and after getting dressed; I ate breakfast and made my way to the set. It was only a few blocks from the hotel but it was cold so early in the morning and by the time I pushed my way into the Makeup trailer, my nose was bright red from the chilling wind and my fingers were numb as I held them up to my mouth in an attempt to breathe life back into them. One of the makeup girls introduced herself and ushered me into the waiting chair.   
“It’s not that cold outside is it?” Aidan asked me from the chair next to me with a chuckle.   
“I walked. Probably should have thought of a pair of gloves," I responded sheepishly.   
“You walked?” he parroted back, with a shocked looked on his face. His brow knitted together as I nodded and he demanded that I let him drive me back to the hotel after we were finishing filming that day. I accepted his offer and we spent the next hour in the makeup chairs swapping jokes comfortably.  
Looking back on that day it always astounds me how easily we fell into that friendship after only knowing each other for a week.  
After our makeup was finished we went our separate ways as I went to the hair department and then to wardrobe. An hour and a half later I found myself on set watching other scenes being filmed. It was more than four hours before I found myself in front of the camera, which was plenty of time for my nerves to build.  
My first scene was with Aidan which strangely helped my nerves. As much as I blushed every time he smiled at me with those dimples, I couldn’t help but feel calmer around him. I stumbled over my first lines, as I leaned against the wall of an empty hallway.  
“Mitchell, isn’t it? I’m Lia. How’s it going?”  
“Just relax Hayley,” Aidan told me, “Just try to be casual. Remember what Russell said last week about your pronunciation.”  
I’d nodded, swallowed the lump in my throat, and tried again.  
“Mitchell, in'it? I’m Lia. How’sit going?”

We spent the rest of the day filming scenes in that hallway, in which my character, Lia, had to flirt with Aidan’s character, Mitchell. That had been the easier part. In between takes Aidan would effortlessly slip in and out of character, asking me questions about myself. My family, my favourite colour, why I lived in Canada and why I was so adamant that I wasn’t Canadian. He was so easy to talk to that we breezed through our scenes for the day and before long Aidan was driving me back to the hotel like he’d promised. We said goodbye at the elevator and made plans to meet in the lobby the following morning.


	3. Being Lia

Aidan was already in the lobby when I exited the elevator that morning and mockingly held out his arm with a stiff British “ma’am”. I laughed and swatted at his arm and the short car ride was filled with comfortable chatter.  
Once we’d made it through hair, make-up and wardrobe, I found myself back on set with Aidan. We started the day with a scene in an old army barracks tent.  
“Why are we here?” Aidan asked.  
“I don’t even know where here is”, I’d replied.   
“France….”  
And so we spent our second day on set much like we’d spent the first, only this time Aidan provided information about himself in response to my own line of questioning.  
And just like the first day, before I knew it, I was back in Aidan’s car on the way back to the hotel. When we reached the elevator I selected my floor and he selected his. As the doors opened I stepped through and threw a quick, ‘same time tomorrow?’ over my shoulder. Before I got two steps down the hallway I heard the doors stop abruptly and turned.   
“Would you wanna have dinner?” Aidan blurted out nervously with his arm thrown out to hold the doors. “Tonight? With me?... I mean with Lenora and Russell and Sinead and me?”  
He smiled and chuckled and looked at his feet and I couldn’t help smiling back at his nervousness.   
“That sounds great” I responded.   
“Awesome… I mean, great, we’ll see you in the lobby at 7?” He stumbled over the words in a rush to get them out as he ran a hand over the back of his neck.   
“See you then.”  
I grinned as the elevator doors finally closed with a thud.  
I was still smiling like an idiot when I closed the door of my room behind me.  
Aidan had asked me on a date. Sure it was with his co-stars as well, but I knew it was a date. No one gets that nervous about asking someone out for a casual meal with friends.  
When 7pm rolled around I had made my way down to the lobby, where Aidan was already waiting with Sinead, Russell and Lenora. We all piled into Aidans rental and made our way to a cute little diner. I can’t remember ever laughing as hard as I did that night.  
We talked about everything and nothing. How each of us had found our way into acting, our first roles, funny stories from growing up and what our families were like.  
When we made our way back to the hotel and after saying goodnight to the others, Aidan had walked me to my room.  
“Am I really so scary that you had to invite your co-stars as a buffer?” I laughed, only half serious.  
He chuckled nervously.  
“I just thought maybe I should take it slowly. I mean, I like you. But …. What with the age difference…” he mumbled.  
“Oh... Age difference? I honestly hadn’t even thought of that” I responded.   
“You hadn’t?”  
“No, really. It’s only a few years right?” I questioned, a little unsure of myself. It was true that I hadn’t thought of the age difference between us, but he clearly had been.   
“9.”   
“Really?” I asked, shocked.   
“Yeah, I’m 27. I thought you knew and that’s why it's been kind of weird,” Aidan replied, running an awkward hand over the back of his neck.   
“I honestly didn’t. I never really thought about it. It doesn’t bother me. I was just awkward because I… I’ve never…. I’ve never dated before,” I confessed, blushing.   
“No way?” he questioned, “Not even in high school? But you’re gorgeous”.   
“The thing is,” I blushed even more, “there’s something I should probably tell you. Do you wanna come inside?” I asked apprehensively, gesturing to my hotel room door behind me.   
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” he responded following me into the hotel room.  
We both sat on the edge of my bed with an appropriate distance between us and I stared at my hands in my lap as I tried to work out how to start.   
“You know how I said I moved back to Dallas for a few years?” I started, a little apprehensive. I looked up from my hands long enough to see Aidan nod before I looked back down and continued.   
“Well the thing is that we moved back because,” I paused before taking a deep breath and blurting out, “we moved back because my mum died”.  
There was silence for few heartbeats before Aidan closed the distance between us and put a comforting arm around my shoulder.   
“Hayley, I’m so sorry,” he murmured, “How… how did it happen?” he asked gently.   
“Cancer” I responded, and then I told him all about her diagnoses. About how towards the end she’s been so sick she couldn’t get out of bed so I’d read to her the way she’d used to read to me. We’d read all sorts of different books, but mostly we’d read The Hobbit. It had been my favourite then and still was now, almost a decade later. When I finally fell silent, Aidan cleared his throat before he started to speak.   
“Thanks for telling me that. I know it can’t have been easy.”  
“There’s more” I replied. I looked up at him as his brow furrowed with concern. And so it was there, sitting on the edge of that hotel bed, leaning against Aidans chest with his arm wrapped around my shoulders, that I told him about my own diagnoses and everything about my life that I hadn’t told him over the last week.  
“So that’s why you’ve never had a boyfriend before? Because, you dropped out of school?” he’d quietly asked once I’d drawn silent at the end of my story. I nodded.   
“Well I guess I should feel special at getting to be your first”. There was silence for a moment, before I turned to look at him.   
“You want to be my boyfriend?” I asked stupidly.   
“Yeah… Yeah, I really would” he responded, and I didn’t get to say anything else because right then Aidan had gently gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger and turned my head up to kiss me.  
My head was still spinning when Aidan said goodnight and left the room a little while later.  
This had not been how I saw this night ending. Not at all.


	4. The Last Days of Lia?

The following morning I made my way down to the lobby. I’d dressed warmly, just in case I had to walk. I wasn’t sure how to process last night, but I was fairly certain that as soon as Aidan had a chance to think about what had been said and done, that he would realise the mistake he’d made.  
I was wrong of course. As soon as the elevator doors opened Aidan was standing in the lobby with a huge smile on his face. He greeted me with a cheerful “Morning’”, before taking my hand and walking towards the car.  
The day went by much the same as the previous ones had, although in between takes Aidan would occasionally reach over and give my hand a little squeeze, or would run his fingers through my hair, and just once he walked up from behind me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head before letting me going and taking his place for the upcoming scene.  
We had dinner together again that night, although this time it was just the two of us. And when the night ended, Aidan walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight.  
It was hard to believe that we’d only known each other for just under 2 weeks and even harder to believe that I only had two more days on set.  
And my, did those two days fly by. It seemed like only minutes later Aidan and I were sitting in a train carriage filming our final scene together. It also happened to be the final scene filmed for the episode.   
“Well as punishments go, it’s pretty cruel and interesting in'it?” I said as I turned and walked down the isle of the carriage.   
“Cut,” called the director, “And that’s a wrap on the first episode guys.”  
The crew started to clap as Aidan stood from his seat and walked towards me.   
“Well I guess that’s it,” I said as he stopped beside me.   
“Not for us,” he replied as he pulled me in for a long, passionate kiss.  
Someone in the crew wolf-whistled and as I pulled away blushing, Aidan held his hand up behind his back flipping them off without looking away from me.   
“I mean it Hayles,” he told me earnestly, “This isn’t the end for us”.  
I nodded and we made our way off set to get changed out of our costumes.  
Once I was back in my jeans and a Priestly t-shirt, with the fake blood cleaned off my neck I was approached by Toby, who I knew as the lead writer on the show.   
“Hayley,” he called as he jogged towards me, “can I have a minute?”  
“Of course,” I’d replied.   
“First of all I just want to congratulate you on a great performance”  
I blushed, “Thankyou.”  
“I was wondering whether you’d be interested in coming back for the finale?”  
“Really?” I gasped, “Yeah I’d love to come back.”  
“Great! I’ll get one of the girls to send you the details but I think we start the third block of filming in September”.  
After a few more minutes of idle chat, we said our farewells and I walked away in search of Aidan.  
I found him leaning against the hood of his rental in the carpark.   
“What’s with the grin?” he asked as I sat on the car beside him.   
“Toby just asked me back for the finale” I beamed.   
“I told you it wasn’t over,” he responded as his grin widened, “wanna get dinner?”  
I’d nodded and we got into the car and drove in to town to what had become our regular diner.  
As we walked towards the front door I’d reached out and taken Aidans hand, and he’d used that leverage to pull my against his side, as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.


	5. An Inability to Trust in Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley had some difficulty accepting happiness in her life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild trigger warnings for insecurity and self-doubt issues on Hayleys part

As we sat down in a booth by the window, I took a deep breath and tried to put aside the thought of leaving.   
“When do you fly out?” Aidan asked.   
“Sunday,” I’d responded quietly.   
“Can I drive you to the airport?”  
“It’s three hours away, Aidan”  
“I know, but it gives me three more hours before I have to say goodbye”.   
“I’ll be back in two and a half months.”  
“Yeah.”  
We sat in silence, until the waitress took our orders, and brought us our drinks.  
After dinner we once again found ourselves in the familiar situation of Aidan walking me to my door. This time was different though. As Aidan leaned in and kissed me goodnight, the kiss deepened and became more passionate until both of us were gasping for breath. As we pulled away, Aidan reached out a hand and wiped my cheek with the pad of his thumb.  
“Hey, don’t cry,” he murmured, eyebrows furrowing together with concern.  
I hadn’t even realised tears were silently rolling down my face.  
“Don’t leave,” I sobbed, “Stay with me tonight.”  
And so we spent the night together. Not in the sexual way, just sleeping, curled up against each other.  
When I woke the following morning I stayed still in bed remembering the night before. It was a Saturday so we had nowhere else to be, and I was perfectly happy to spend the rest of the day in that bed. I rolled over, arms reaching out in search of Aidan only to find the bed empty and cold. My eyes opened to find the rest of the hotel room as vacant as my bed, and my heart dropped.  
Of course he’d left. Why wouldn’t he? Hadn’t I spent the last few days waiting for this to happen?  
I spent the next few minutes cursing myself for letting myself get invested and for caring for this guy. Surely I knew better by now that I didn’t get to be happy. Every time I started to be happy something horrible happened.  
After about 10 minutes of good quality self-hate, the door opened and in walked Aidan carrying coffee and breakfast burritos.  
So naturally, like the idiot I am, I started crying.   
“Whoa,” Aidan exclaimed as he rushed to place our breakfast on the table before sitting beside me on the bed and pulling me against his chest.   
“What’s wrong?” he questioned soothingly, “what happened?”  
“I’m an idiot,” I sobbed, “I woke up and you were gone, and I thought you’d finally realised what a mess I am and bailed.”  
“Hey, shhhh,” he hushed gently, “you gotta stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know this all happened really fast but I’m really falling for you Hayles. You’re an amazing person and I’m not going anywhere, ok?”  
I nodded into his chest as I continued to weep.  
After I managed to pull myself together, we ate breakfast and spent the remainder of the day lounging around my hotel room, talking about everything and anything. After a dinner of room service we laid on the bed to watch a cheesy rom-com on the TV, and at some point during the movie I’d fallen asleep curled against Aidan’s chest.


	6. I'll See You Real Soon

The drive to the airport was wonderful. After waking up to find Aidan snoring softly next to me, we’d gotten dressed and had breakfast before hitting the road. We’d spent the entire trip laughing, joking and singing along terribly to the local radio station. Somehow the three hours flew by in what felt like minutes and before long Aidan was pulling the car into the short term parking lot and pulling my bags from the backseat.  
We walked slowly towards the check in booth and once receiving my boarding pass, headed through security checks and customs. Each step towards my gate was a step closer to a farewell we were both dreading.   
“Well this is it I guess,” I mumbled, looking at my feet.   
“Hayles…” Aidan paused, waiting until I raised my head to look at him before continuing, “I’m not gonna say goodbye because it’s only three months before I’ll be standing in this airport waiting for you, and I’m not gonna say I’ll miss you because that goes without saying. All I’m gonna say is that I am so greatful for the last two weeks we’ve had together and at the risk of jumping into this too fast and scaring you away there's something else I have to say before you get on that plane.”  
My breath caught in my throat, and as I stared into those deep brown eyes, I felt a blush creeping across my cheeks.   
“I’m in love with you and don’t you ever think that I’m going to change my mind about that or that I’m gonna realize I made a mistake or that I’m gonna find somebody else because none of that is gonna happen” he stated with his hands placed gently on either side of my face, thumbs tracing the blush across my cheeks.   
“I… Aidan, I…” I never got a chance to string together a coherent sentence before Aidan pulled me closer for a deep and fiercely passionate kiss. We broke apart as the staff started ushering people onto the plane. As I walked towards the gate I looked back to see Aidan standing still surrounded by people streaming towards the gate. With just one look all my anxieties disappeared and I didn’t need any more reminding that this was real. I turned and ran back towards him, throwing myself into his arms and taking one more kiss.  
“I love you too Aidan Turner” I declared as our lips separated, “And I’ll see you real soon.”  
And with that I turned and walked onto my waiting flight.  
It was only as I sat down in my seat that I was able to put aside the sadness of leaving Aidan and embrace the excitement of knowing that in a few hours I would be home with my family again.


	7. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley returns to Vancouver

Nothing quite beats the feeling of coming home. As I walked out of the gate at Vancouver International Airport I looked out at the crowd and saw Jared towering above the others, my dad standing right beside him. Before I had a chance to start moving towards them, Jared had spotted me and both men had started pushing through the crowd. Within moments I was drawn into a hug by both of them and even though I was gasping for breath as the gripped me tightly I hugged back just as hard.  
“God I missed you guys,” I stated lamely as soon as they let me go. They both smiled and Jared took my luggage from me, as dad draped an arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the doors.  
“So what have I missed in the last two weeks?” I asked as we got into the car, with Jared driving.   
“Oh hell no, we are not talking about us. Tell me everything. What was it like?” dad demanded as we left the car park and made our way onto the highway.  
“It was amazing,” I confessed, leaning forward over the center console so that I could see them both as I told them about the previous two weeks. Now most 18 year old girls probably would have left out that stuff about falling for Aidan, but I didn’t. I’ve never had secrets from my dad and over the past 6 years Jared had become a weird hybrid of brother and uncle to me, so there was no hesitation in my story.  
“Wait this guy,” Dad had begun when I finally drew a breath at the end of my story.  
“Aidan” I supplied.  
“Yeah, well this Aidan, he’s older than you? How much older?” he questioned.  
“Does it really matter?” I started, “it’s just a number”.  
One look at dad and I knew it mattered to him. His expression could only be interpreted as ‘humour me’.  
“9 years” I offered nervously.  
“NINE? You’re telling me that there is less of an age gap between this guy and myself , then there is between you and him?”  
“Dad it’s not like that.”  
“Not like what?”  
“He’s not some sleazy old guy cracking on to me because I’m young and innocent. He’s not like that!”  
“What makes you so sure?”  
“Because he never once tried to sleep with me! He had chances. He could have pushed me but he never even hinted at it. Please dad, I don’t want to fight with you. I missed you and I just want to enjoy being home. Once you meet him you’ll understand, I promise. And until then you just have to trust me” I concluded, with a pleading tone to my voice.  
“OK," he conceded, "I’m sorry bubs. I don’t wanna fight either. But we are gonna talk about this more, ok?” he responded with a deep sigh of resignation.   
“Yeah, Ok. Now I can tell you my excellent news?” I paused for effect before excitedly blurting out, “they asked me back to film the final episode in September!”  
“Really?” shouted Jared.  
“Yeah, they said they were really impressed with my performance and they’d like to bring my character back for a few scenes in the finale”.  
“That’s awesome!” they both called out at the same time. We all started laughing at that and the rest of the drive home was spent chatting about what had been happening on the Supernatural set while I’d been gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter really surprised me. I had planned for Jensen to be a relatively cool dad about the age difference, but i just started typing and this just took on a life of it's own.  
> Hope you liked it.  
> More to come soon


	8. It's A Supernatural Life

The next two months I spent in Vancouver were relatively dull. I spent my days sitting around the house reading or playing guitar or hanging out on the Supernatural set. Aidan and I called or Skyped every second day and I was counting down the days.  
Towards the end of august, just before I left to fly back to the UK I found myself on set talking with Ben Edlund one of the lead writers of the show.  
“So, Jensen mentioned that you’re heading back over to UK next week”  
“Yeah, Ben, I’m so excited to be getting back on a set” I responded and Ben looked around us pointedly, “Oh you know what I mean! This doesn’t count as a set, it’s more like an extension of my house.”  
“So you’re enjoying acting?” Ben asked.  
“Yeah, it’s so great. I think it’s what I really want to do, you know?”  
“Well in that case, how would you feel about working here?”  
“On Supernatural?”  
“Yep. I’ve been working on a character for the last year or two and I wrote her for you, but you were still sick so I’ve kinda just had her on the back burner waiting until you were ready.” All I could do was stare at him with my mouth hanging open.  
“You wrote me a character?”  
“Of course, we’ve been wanting to bring in a character that can be like a little sister for Sam and Dean in a way that Jo was and everyone is in agreement that that has to be you,” he stated calmly.   
“So tell me about my character,” I responded with a grin.   
“Her name is Charlie and she’s a bit of geek,” he began, giving me a pointed look at the word geek. We talked about Charlie for the better part of two hours by which time Dad had finished filming and we headed home.  
"So Ben just offered me a part on the show," I said as we pulled out of the parking lot.  
"Really? That's awesome bub"  
"Yeah apparently he wrote a character based on me last year but because I was sick he didn't say anything."  
"What ep you gonna be in?" Dad asked.  
"Not sure yet, but it won’t be until next season. Ben wouldn't tell me the story arc obviously but he said he had the perfect episode to introduce my character. He even said she's not gonna die, so that's a win."  
We spent the rest of the drive home talking about the details Ben had shared about Charlie. 6 days later I was back in the Vancouver Airport hugging Dad goodbye again. This time there was no sadness or nervousness, only excitement and happiness.


	9. Back to Britain

I jumped into Aidans arms the moment I saw him waiting amongst the crowd of people at the airport.  
“I didn’t expect you to be here,” I gasped when we pulled away from each other, “I thought one of the PA’s was meant to be picking me up.”  
“Did you really think I was gonna wait a second longer than I had to before seeing you?” Aidan responded, grinning from ear to ear. I blushed. I had forgotten how much I adored that accent.  
“Well I’m glad you’re here,” I stammered, “I missed you.” I pulled him in for another long kiss before he let me go to pick up my bags and we made our way to the car with arms wrapped around each other.  
“So I may have binged watched the first two seasons of Being Human,” I confessed as we made our way out of the city.  
“You didn’t watch it after you got cast?” Aidan asked.  
“Nah, after they gave me a brief description of Lia I thought it would be better if I didn’t know the characters outside of what she knew. I just watched the episode where Daisy and Mitchell attack the train.”  
“Hmm,” Aidan replied, “that’s fair enough. So what did you think?”  
“Oh my god, I love it!” I exclaimed.  
Aidan laughed.  
“No seriously, it’s amazing. Please tell me that Annie and Mitchell get together this season? They’re adorable together, I ship it.”  
“You ship it? Actually no I don’t wanna know what that means. And I guess I can spoil it since you’ll find out when we start filming anyway,” he paused to glance over at me, “Yeah, they get together,” he concluded.  
“Oh yay, I was so worried that something was going to happen and they wouldn’t get a happy ending,” I confessed. Aidan made a face. “What?”  
“Nothing,” he said, glancing over at me again. I stared back. “Oh well I guess you’ll find out,” he paused. When I didn’t speak he continued, “They’re killing Mitchell off in the finale.”  
“WHAT?” I spat, “No, why? Oh My God. Why?” I rambled.  
“I’m leaving the show. I got role on a movie that starts filming next year,” he told me nervously.  
“Oh, Ok. What’s the movie? Anything I’d know?” I asked.  
“Yeah, you know it. Now you can’t get mad that I didn’t tell you ok, because I signed a contract and I couldn’t say anything but they’re making an official announcement in a few weeks so I’m allowed to tell you now.” He said it all so fast in came out in a blur of words.  
“So what is it?” I prompted when he remained silent for a few moments.  
“The Hobbit.”  
There was silence in the car for a minute while the words sunk in before I exploded with excitement.  
“THE HOBBIT?” I yelled, “OMG, this is amazing! OMG, OMG, OMG. I can’t… I just… holy crap… OMG!” I continued to fangirl for several more minutes before becoming completely calm and turned to face Aidan again.  
“As which character?” I asked hesitantly, “and if you say Goblin number three I might cry with disappointment.”  
Aidan laughed before responding with an equally hesitant, “Kili.”  
At this I resumed my previous freak out.  
After I calmed down we spent the remainder of the drive down to Barry Island discussing when Aidan would be flying to New Zealand, and since he hadn’t actually read the book yet, I told him the entire story.  
By the time we pulled up at the hotel it was dark, so I checked into my room and Aidan joined me as we curled up to watch whatever was on TV.


	10. Being Lia Again

As I woke the following morning I woke to find the bed beside me empty, but unlike the last time this had happened, I didn’t panic. I stretched out across the bed and yawned as Aidan emerged from the bathroom fully dressed while I was mid-yawn.  
“Now if that isn’t the most beautiful sight, I don’t know what is,” Aidan said as he leaned in to kiss me.  
“Mmm,” I groaned, “what are you doing up so early? The read through doesn’t start till after lunch.”  
“You’re read through doesn’t start until after lunch, mine starts in 20 minutes,” Aidan responded with a grin. At my questioning expression he added, “We’re filming two episodes in block 3. Read through for episode 7 is this morning, then after lunch we’ll head into episode 8.”  
“Oh,” I replied, pulling him down onto the bed by his shirt. “Well you can be a few minutes late right?”  
A few minutes later Aidan pulled away from me gently.  
“I really do have to go,” he said sullenly, “See you at 1.”  
After he left I fell back to sleep for little while before getting out of bed, taking a long shower, and dressing in a comfortable pair of jeans and one of my many novelty t-shirts.  
I took my time walking to the set office, and when I walked through the door I was hit by an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. I paused in the doorway and watched the cast and crew standing around talking and laughing, and just like the last time I’d been in this room, Aidan was the first to notice me. He excused himself from a conversation and made his way over to me with a grin on his face, and then the sense of déjà vu disappeared completely as he pulled me towards him and into a long kiss.  
The rest of the day went by much as the last read through had, although this time I had Aidan lacing his fingers through mine under the table and flashing smiles at me whenever I glanced over at him.  
And then the day was over and one of the PA’s approached me to discuss the filming schedule. It turned out I wasn’t required on set until the end of the following week, so over dinner that night Aidan and I talked about how I would spend the two weeks while he was on set.  
I ended up spending the first few days, lounging around reading and playing my guitar. I even managed to jot down a few songs, not that I would admit that to Aidan. Before long the weekend was upon us and as there was no filming, we packed up the car and drove to London. We spent the day taking in all the traditional touristy things, as I had never been London before, except for the few times I’d flown in and out of the UK.  
It was a beautiful weekend and it was almost sad to drive back to Barry Island on Sunday night.  
The next week went by much the same as the first had and then on the Thursday the final scene was filmed for episode 7 and so Friday morning I found myself back in a chair in the makeup department.


	11. That's A Wrap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The filming of the season 3 finale of Being Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obvious spoilers ahead for the season 3 finale.

It felt so surreal to be back in front of the camera and it felt even weirder to feel completely at home there.   
Unlike the first time I’d been on the show, I didn’t have any scenes with Aidan this episode and instead I was acting alongside Lenora.   
For my first scene back I found myself in the same empty hallway that Aidan and I had filmed in months ago.  
“Annie? Thank god, you got my message?” I asked, and so went the next two days of filming, until we came to my last scene.  
I stood awkwardly in the small bedroom set, hands clasped in front of me. It was the end of a scene where my character, Lia, said goodbye to Annie, Lenora’s character. After a few moments the director, Daniel, called cut.  
“And that’s a wrap on Hayley,” he called out. The entire crew starting clapping, and after a few hugs and a pat on the back, the crew around me parted and Aidan was kissing me.   
“Congratulations love, you were fantastic,” he whispered in my ear.  
After that, Aidan made his way over to one of the other sets to prepare for his next scene and I made my way back to the wardrobe department to get changed out of my costume. I then spent the remainder of the afternoon watching Aidan work.  
A week and a half later, I found myself watching on as Aidan, Russell, Sinead and Lenora filmed the last scene for the season and also Aidans last scene on the show. It was the scene where George is holding a stake to Mitchell’s heart and Mitchell is saying his goodbyes to George, Nina and Annie. It was an incredibly emotional scene and all four actors were crying through it, and many of the crew had silent tears rolling down their cheeks.   
"Thank you. All of you, you made me human,” Aidan said through tears. There was a moment of silence.  
“Cut,” Daniel called, “That’s a wrap on Season 3 everybody. Great work.”  
Once again the crew were all clapping and everyone swarmed in around Aidan to say their farewells. As I took the chance to dry my eyes, I saw in the centre of the forming crowd, Sinead, Russell and Lenora with their arms thrown around Aidan. I stayed on the fringe of the group until everyone had said their goodbyes and made their way off set.   
Finally Aidan made his way over to where I was sitting and pulled me to my feet and into a hug.   
“You’re amazing,” I said into his chest, “I was bawling my eyes out.”  
“It’s sad to think that after today I won’t be coming back here,” he replied.  
“Onwards to better things I guess,” I said as I pulled back from the hug, taking Aidans hand and leading him towards the wardrobe department.  
“Yeah I guess you’re right.”  
The next day we drove back to London, only this time there were no goodbyes at the airport. This time Aidan was coming home to Vancouver with me.


	12. Meeting The Parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley returns to Vancouver and Aidan meets Jensen

As we exited the airport gates I spotted an unremarkable man in a suit, holding a sign that read 'Ackles' on it and made my way over to him with Aidan in tow.   
"Miss Ackles?" the man asked professionally.  
"Please call me Hayley," I responded with an extended hand. He shook my hand awkwardly before attempting to take our luggage from us.   
"It's fine," I interrupted kindly, “we’ve got it."  
"You're not like the usual celebrities I chauffeur," He remarked uncomfortably, as he ushered us towards to black town car.   
"I should hope so," I laughed. "I'm not a celebrity, just the daughter of one."  
"Oh," he responded, clearly feeling awkward at being required to make small talk.  
"She's being modest," Aidan supplied after watching the exchange with a grin on his face. "She's gonna be famous soon. You should get her autograph before she has to start charging for them. It'll be a collector’s item soon enough."  
An elbow in the ribs from me had finally silenced him, as we both dissolved into laughter.  
The short trip from the airport to the Supernatural set was spent preparing Aidan to meet my dad for the first time.  
"He won't make a scene while on set, so you'll need to make a good impression before we leave to go home," I began nervously.  
"Hayley, it's gonna be fine. It's not like I'm a drug dealer or an axe-wielding murder," he joked.  
"That's not even funny," I responded tersely.  
"It is. You're just too nervous to realise," he smirked.  
"You know he has an issue with the age difference Aidan. Please, can you just try to take this seriously?" I pleaded, "It's important to me that he likes you. I know it's archaic, but I do want my dad's approval," I sighed.  
"Relax Hayles, I'll be my ever charming self," he responded soothingly, melting the tension between my eyebrows with the soft touch of his lips.  
As we walked through the lot, people greeted me happily as we passed.  
"And you said you weren't famous," Aidan jested comfortably, with a gentle squeeze of my hand.  
"I'm not," I responded, returning the pressure, "They’re like family. I grew up here."  
When we found our way onto the set the cameras were rolling, so we stayed silent and remained out of the way.  
"It's very complex." Misha said off camera. "If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong.  
"You're watching porn? Why?" Dad asked, sitting at a table with Jared.  
"It was there," Misha continued.  
"You don't watch porn, in a room full of dudes... and you don't talk about it. Just turn it off!... Oh, now he's got a boner," Dad continued.  
Then, after Misha knocked on the table beside him, Jared and Dad stood and walked off camera. The director, Bob Singer, called cut and dismissed the cast and crew for the day.  
As I walked onto the set, I motioned to Misha to ignore me as I snuck up behind Dad and Jared. When I reached them I jumped onto dad's back, wrapping one arm around his neck for stability. At the same time I reached over with my other hand to mess up Jared's already mussed hair.   
"Guess who!"   
He almost fell over in the shock and only Misha's hands on his shoulders saved us both from finding ourselves sprawled on the ground.  
I let go and landed on my feet as dad steadied himself before pulling me into a hug.  
"I missed you kiddo," he admitted as we pulled apart.  
"... Missed you too dad," I replied earnestly.  
I then turned to Misha and gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning to Jared and being lifted into his arms in a bone-crushing hug.  
"Hey gigantor," I joked, "can't breathe," I gasped.  
He set me down with a chuckle and I returned the laugh before stopping abruptly as Aidan offered his hand to dad with a polite greeting.  
"Pleasure to meet you Mr Ackles. Hayley's told me so much about you."  
The silence stretched for a moment too long before dad accepted Aidan's out stretched hand and responded with genuine politeness.  
"And you must be Aidan. Nice to meet you too."  
I exhaled with relief and all four men laughed.  
"What did you expect Hayley?" Jared scoffed, "that Jensen was just gonna start throwing punches?"  
Another laugh issued from the others.  
"That was one of the scenarios I had pictured," I replied lightly, only half joking.  
"Well, as much as I've missed this witty banter of yours Bub, how about we continue this 'meet the parent' act at home? I'd really like to get this make-up gunk off my face."  
I nodded and linked arms with both dad and Aidan as we made our way off set and headed towards the make-up trailer.  
"It's great to be home," I sighed, "especially now that have my two favourite people together."  
Jared and Misha mockingly grabbed at their chests in unison as they walked behind us.  
"Ouch," Misha gasped, "feeling the love, Hayles. Really feeling the love."  
I turned to look back at them over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out, laughing all the way off set.


	13. Texas Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ackles, The Padalecki's and Aidan head to Texas for Christmas

2 MONTHS LATER  
\---------------

Episode 14 wrapped filming late afternoon on Friday the 17th of December, and the following Monday, Dad, Danneel, Jared, Gen, Aidan and myself all headed to the Vancouver International Airport. We arrived in Dallas around dinner time, so we all grabbed something to eat at a restaurant near the airport before Jarred and Gen made their way to Austin and the rest of us waited for my uncle Josh to give us a lift to my grandparents’ house in Richardson on the outskirts of the city. 

By the time we all piled out of the van, my grandma was standing on the porch waiting for us. I reached her first, giving her a massive hug.  
“Hey Grandma!”  
“Hello, dear. Now come on inside, I want to hear all about this show you were on,” she said as she turned to lead me into the house. “Oh, and who is this?” she questioned as Aidan appeared behind me with our bags.   
“This is Aidan,” I explained with a pointed look, “Aidan this is my grandma.”  
“It’s lovely to meet you Mrs. Ackles,” Aidan offered. Always the polite gentleman, if his hands hadn’t been holding our luggage he probably would have tried to shake her hand.  
“Oh please, call me Donna,” she responded, before turning to dad and Danneel, who had joined us on the porch.  
“Can we move this inside? It’s freezing out here!” Dad sang out from the porch steps.  
“Oh don’t be such a sook Jens,” Grandma had retorted, and as we all made our way into the house I heard him respond behind me.  
“Yeah, great to see you too mum.”  
We all headed to bed fairly early after a long day of travel.

The following morning I woke late, and after a quick shower, made my way downstairs to the kitchen.   
“’Bout time,” Dad sung out when he spotted me, “I was just about to go up and make sure you were still breathing.”  
I poked my tongue out as I walked over to Aidan, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  
“Morning Hayley-bug, you sleep well?” my grandpa asked.  
“Yeah I did, but I was so exhausted I probably would have slept well anywhere,” I joked, pulling a chair up beside Aidan. At some point during the following conversation, Aidan slung his arm across the back of my chair and I ended up leaning my head against his shoulder, something I didn’t notice we’d done until I caught grandma glancing over at us with a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips. She caught my eye and her smile widened. I couldn’t help but return the smile conspiratorially, as I wrapped my arms around Aidan.   
“When’s ‘Kenzie getting here?” I asked about my aunt.  
“She’s working until Thursday, so she said she’ll fly in Friday,” Josh replied.  
“She’s not getting here till Christmas Eve?” dad questioned, “That sucks.”  
Everyone nodded in agreement. After a few heartbeats, grandma broke the silence.   
“So what are everyone’s plans for the day?”  
“Jensen and I are heading into the city for some last minute Christmas shopping,” Danni supplied.  
“Oh, good I have a few things that I needed to get from the supermarket,” grandma responded, “Would you two mind?”  
“Of course not mum,” dad replied.  
“Lovely, and what about you two love-birds?” she asked turning towards Aidan and Myself, “How are you planning to spend your first day home Hayley?”  
“Well I thought I’d show Aidan around, you know,” I said hesitantly, glancing up at Aidan. When he nodded in assent I continued, “umm, and then I… ummm, I wanted to go visit mum,” I mumbled.   
The silence dragged on. Aidan, bless him, broke the awkwardness with his usual cheerfulness.   
“Sounds great love. I’d love a glimpse into what you were like as a kid.”  
He placed a quick kiss on the top of my head as Josh made the world’s most obvious topic change, for which we were all greatful.  
“So, Hayles,” he started, “on a scale of Jens in Days of Our Lives to Dawson’s Creek, how awful was your first acting role?”  
I laughed, as dad scowled, but it was Aidan who answered.  
“She was fantastic,” he boasted, “although her accent was a bit rubbish at first.”  
We stayed in the kitchen talking about Being Human for a while longer before dad and Danni excused themselves to head into town and everyone started standing to go about their days.   
“Do you want to borrow my truck Hayley?” Alan asked.  
“Oh, that would be awesome. Thanks gramps,” I responded excitedly. And after a few quick ‘see you laters’ we were out the door and on the road.


	14. Love You More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley visits her mums grave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled to write this chapter after the Battle of Five Armies trailer was released this morning. I'm an emotional wreck, so when i tried to write the cemetery scene i just kept crying :/

“So that’s my old school,” I pointed out the window as I drove towards the cemetery.  
“What were you like as a kid?” Aidan asked from the passenger seat.  
“Freckles, pigtails and dimples,” I responded with a chuckle.  
“No really,” Aidan insisted, “What was your childhood like?”  
“I don’t know, I mean we moved around a fair bit for Dad,” I shrugged, “But other than that I was pretty normal I think. I went to school and when mum picked me up at the end of the day, we’d go to the set and see dad. Then when he was finished working, we’d all go home, have dinner and mum would read me a bedtime story and dad would kiss the top of my head and turn off the light as he left my room.”  
Aidan smiled.  
“That sounds nice,” he sighed.  
Before he could continue, I pulled the truck over to the side of the road and cut the engine.  
“Well this is it,” I mumbled as I opened the door and climbed out.  
I took Aidans hand and we walked in silence through the cemetery.  
“Hey there mum,” I murmured as we stopped in front of a polished granite stone.

\--------------  
MELANIE WALKER  
07/04/1975 - 24/06/2001  
Beloved Wife and Mother  
Love is now mingled with grief  
and it grows perhaps the greater  
\--------------

“I brought someone to meet you,” I explained as I bent to lay a bunch of flowers.  
Aidan remained silent by my side, offering comfort in the form of a gentle squeeze of my hand.  
“This is Aidan,” I continued, “we met about a month after the last time I was here.”  
I let go of Aidans hand and sat down beside the tombstone, busying myself with rearranging the flowers and cleaning away the dust and dead leaves that had gathered in the last 7 months.  
Aidan retreated back a few metres to give me some time, and only returned to my side 40 minutes later when my silent tears turned to loud, painful sobs.   
“Hey, come here,” he said soothingly as he pulled me up into his arms.  
“I can’t…” I heaved, “I feel…”  
“It’s ok,” he soothed, “you don’t have to talk, I know.”  
“I want…” I tried again, “I want to go”.  
He nodded and led me back to the car, taking the keys from me and helping me into the passenger seat. After a few missed turns we made it back to the house as the sun started to set.   
Aidan held open my door as I climbed out of the truck and held me close as we climbed the porch steps. I paused before going through the front door.  
“I’ll meet you inside,” I promised, “I just need a minute.”  
Aidan nodded, brow knitted in concern as I sat down on the porch swing.  
A few moments later the front door opened again and dad joined me on swing.  
“Aidan said you might need me,” he said quietly as he slung an arm around me.  
I curled into his chest as I began to sob again.  
“Shhhh,” he soothed, “I know bub, I know. I miss her too.”  
We stayed there rocking back and forth on the porch swing while the sun sank below the horizon, and night had fallen when I finally fell silent.  
“Do you think she would have liked him?” I croaked voice hoarse from crying.  
“Are you kidding?” dad asked warmly, “he would have charmed her within minutes.”  
I smiled weakly.   
“Yeah, you’re probably right. You know I never asked. What was it that changed your mind about him?” I asked. “Before I left to go back to the UK you weren’t a fan, but when I brought Aidan home with me you got along with him instantly. Why is that? What changed?”  
“You did,” he replied simply. After seeing my confused expression he chuckled and explained, “You have no idea how your face lights up when you’re around him. From the first moment I saw the two of you together I knew that it didn’t matter that he was older than you.”   
He paused for a moment and I remained silent, thinking about that October day.  
“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy bubs. And god knows you’ve been kicked down enough times to deserve it, and the more I see the two of you together, the more certain I am that he’s the right guy for you.”  
I smiled and wiped the tears from my face.  
“I love you dad.”  
“Love you more,” he responded with a kiss to my forehead.  
We made our way back inside and spent the rest of the night exchanging stories with our family from the last 7 months since we’d last been in Texas for Dad and Danneel’s wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought it made a nice touch to add a Tolkien quote to Melanie's tombstone, since the hobbit was so important to Hayley and her mum. It seemed like something Jensen would do for his daughter.


	15. Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas with the Ackles and the Padalecki's

Dad’s younger sister Mackenzie arrived late the following day and Josh once again drove to the airport to collect her.  
When they arrived home, they found us all sitting around the living room with the tree lit up with Christmas lights, nursing cups of eggnog and laughing as we recounted stories of previous Christmas’.  
“Remember that year that Santa gave Hayley a skateboard?” Grandpa laughed, “What were you Hayles, 7? 8?”  
“She was 8,” dad groaned, “and Santa made a terrible mistake that year.”  
Aidan shot me a questioning look from beside me on the coach as everyone laughed.  
“She only broke her wrist Jens,” Kenzie laughed as she entered the room, “Although, based on the way you and Mel reacted you’d think she died.”  
“Kenzie!” I yelled, jumping up from the coach and barrelling into for a hug.  
She was then passed around the room from hug to hug before sitting down in the empty seat next to me on the couch.   
“And you must but the Irish hotty everyone’s been talking about,” she grinned as she leaned around me to greet Aidan.  
I blushed as Aidan laughed and introduced himself. 

I woke up the following morning to a kiss and a muffled,  
“Merry Christmas, beautiful.”  
“Mmmm… Merry Christmas,” I replied sleepily, returning the kiss.  
Half an hour later we got out of bed and dressed, before heading down stairs to find everyone, except Josh, already up and drinking coffee around the Christmas tree.  
Merry Christmas’ were exchanged and by the time Aidan and I had mugs of coffee in our hands, Josh had made his way down stairs, still in his pyjamas and we started exchanging gifts.   
Among all the gifts I received another hand-knitted sweater from Grandma, and grinned as I put it on and an hour later the only gift left under the tree was for me, from Aidan.  
I slowly opened the simple white envelope.   
Everyone watched on curiously as I slowly read the card twice, looking over at Aidan with eyes wide and jaw slack.   
“Seriously?” I gasped.  
He nodded, smiling.  
“Oh My God, I love you!” I shouted throwing my arms around him.  
“Care to share with the class?” Josh pried.   
“Aidan’s taking me to New Zealand in March to be on the set of the FREAKING HOBBIT MOVIE!” I explained ecstatically.  
“How did you manage that?” Alan inquired, smiling at my excitement.  
“I’m a member of the cast,” Aidan explained, “So I cheated a little on a real gift.”  
“Are you kidding me? This is the best thing anyone has ever given me!”  
Everyone laughed at my enthusiasm.  
“I hope you’re not just dating this guy to get on set Hayley,” Kenzie jested.  
I poked my tongue out.  
“It’s ok , we were dating for a few months before I was even allowed to tell her I’d been cast,” Aidan defended me.  
We all made our way to the kitchen after that and sat down for an amazing home cooked roast lunch.  
Later in the afternoon, Jared and Gen arrived, and we exchanged more presents again, before having dinner and all went to bed late.  
We flew home to Vancouver a week later, before filming resumed for the second half of season 6.


	16. New Zealand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aidan and Hayley head to New Zealand to begin work on the Hobbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had to start jumping time a bit more, otherwise this story will go on forever and i will never catchup to 2014 :D

2 MONTHS LATER  
\---------------

We arrived in Wellington, New Zealand in early March and I spent the majority of my days reacting like a kid in a candy store. And by the time winter rolled around at the end of May I had formed great friendships with many of the crew and most of Aidans fellow cast members.   
And so it was that I found myself on set with Peter Jackson one day in early June, chatting over mugs of tea, as one of the sets was being dressed in preparation for an upcoming scene.   
“So Peter,” I began casually, “I was wondering if I could ask a huge favour of you.”  
“And what would that be Hayley?” Peter replied with a smirk.   
“I was wondering if there was any chance that you could let me be an orc or a goblin or a Lake-town resident or something,” I asked nervously.  
He laughed.   
“Leave it with me and I’ll see what I can come up.”  
“Thank you. Really, thank you so much.”

\---------------  
3 MONTHS LATER  
\---------------

I ‘left it’ with Peter, as he put it, and 3 months later he approached me at the end of a shoot in mid-September. I was waiting outside the wardrobe department as Aidan was having his dwarf prosthetics removed.  
“Afternoon Hayley,” Peter greeted me casually as he joined me leaning against the wall.  
“Hey Pete, What’s up?”  
“I was wondering if you were still interested in being in one of the movies.”  
I snorted.  
“Yeah, I think it’s safe to say I’m still interested.”  
“Well then good news.”  
“Really?”  
“The only thing is,” he paused, looking over at me. He laughed when he saw my excited expression fall.  
“The thing is I couldn’t get you a part as an orc, or Lake-Towner or anything like that.”   
“It’s ok I understand,” I interrupted.  
“Because,” he continued as though he hadn’t heard me, “I have an elven role that I think you’ll be perfect for.”  
I stood in shocked silence.  
“Her name is Tauriel, she’s one of the woodland elves and she is a friend of Legolas,” He explained.  
He laughed again when my brows furrowed in confusion.  
“She’s not in the book.”  
“Why would you want to cast me?” I asked self-consciously.  
“Well in case you haven’t noticed Hayley, you’re a half decent actress. After you asked me about a part I went and watched the two episodes of Being Human you were in and decided you deserve a bigger part.”  
I was speechless and when Aidan approached us a few moments later he found me staring gobsmacked at Peter while he chuckled in return.  
“Did she have a stroke?” Aidan joked.  
“I think she might have,” Peter laughed back.  
I regained my composure at this point and explained to Aidan what Peter had offered.  
“Wait, which elf?” he asked when I finished.  
“Tauriel,” Peter responded.  
“Ahhh, well that makes sense,” Aidan sighed.  
Neither of them would explain what that meant and soon we parted ways, as Aidan and I headed home.


	17. Where the Fellowship Formed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter i've been itching to write since i started this story. It was one of the first scenes i pictured in my head. Hope you like it

One afternoon in early October I was approached by one of the PA’s who told me that I was needed on the Rivendell set.   
“Why?” I questioned.  
“I don’t know. I was just told to come and find you,” she replied.  
“Alright but I’m supposed to be meeting Aidan here, he was just going to his trailer to get changed. Can you please stay here and tell him to come find me when he shows up?”   
“Of course,” she responded with an odd smile.  
I didn’t think much of it, and made my way across the lot towards one of the sound stages where the Rivendell set had been built.   
Most of the lights were out, but I saw a light on in the back corner of the sound stage. After making my towards it I found that the light was coming from the chamber where the Council of Elrond had been held in the Fellowship movie.   
I stepped through the archway into the chamber to find Aidan standing in front of me in a black dress shoes, dark denim jeans and a white button down shirt.  
“What are you doing here?” I asked, speaking softly in the large, echoing room.  
“Waiting for you,” he responded cryptically as I stopped in front of him.  
“Hayley,” he began, taking both my hands in his, “we’ve been together for almost a year and a half and it’s been the most amazing time of my life. So…”  
He paused as he dropped to one knee in front of me.  
“In the same room where the Fellowship was formed and pledged their lives to Frodo and the quest, here I am pledging my life to yours. I love you with all my heart and soul. Hayley Grace Ackles, will you do me the honour of allowing me to become your husband?”  
I cried as he produced a small velvet box from his pocket and opened it to reveal as simple white gold band, holding an elegant diamond.  
“Yes,” I gasped, “yes of course I will.”  
He slipped the ring onto my finger and I pulled him to his feet as our lips met.  
I was laughing and crying and repeating the words ‘I love you too’.  
As we made our way off the set, wrapped in each other’s arms, we encountered Peter.  
“I’m assuming the mission was a success,” he joked.  
“You knew about this?” I asked.  
“How else do you think he got the Rings reference right?” he chuckled.  
“I did think that was fairly impressive, though it doesn’t surprise me at all that he needed help,” I smiled up at Aidan.  
“Well congratulations guys.”  
“Thanks again for the help Pete,” Aidan offered.  
“It was my pleasure, now go celebrate.”  
And we did, with a romantic dinner in the city.  
“I have to call dad, he’s gonna freak when I tell him” I said as we climbed into the taxi after dinner.  
“He already knows,” Aidan responded.  
“He does?” I asked incredulously.  
“I called him yesterday and asked for his blessing,” Aidan explained, “I knew how important it would be to you.”  
I grinned and leaned in for another kiss.  
“How the hell did I get this lucky?” I asked leaning against his chest.  
“I’ve got really low standards,” Aidan chuckled, “but seriously, you’re not the lucky one Hayles. I am.”


	18. An Irish Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aidan and Hayley head to Dublin to spend Christmas with Aidans family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aidan has managed to keep his personal life very private and inn my research i could only find mention that he grew up in Dublin with his parents and a brother, so most of the family information is completely made up.

A week before Christmas, the first block of principle photography was wrapped, and Aidan and I flew to Dublin to spend the holidays with his family. Unlike the Christmas’ I was used to in Texas, the holidays that year were quiet. It was just Aidan and I, Aidan’s parents, Erin and Matthew and his younger brother, Declan.  
After exchanging gifts, we shared a home cooked roast for lunch in the family kitchen, and we spent the day getting to know each other.   
After dinner, Declan, had headed back to his home a few hours’ drive from the city and we had all headed to bed.  
Although they were never rude, it was clear that Aidan’s parents were in no way my biggest fans. The reason was made very clear when I overheard Erin and Matthew talking in the kitchen one afternoon, a few days after Christmas, as I came downstairs.  
“She’s too young for him,” Aidan’s mother had huffed. “He’s far too trusting, and it’s clear that she’s playing him. Whether it's for his money or his fame I don’t know…”  
“More to the point Erin, he’s obviously ashamed of their relationship. Why else would he wait until they were engaged to bring her home to meet us?” his father had added.   
I hadn’t heard the rest of the conversation as I had quickly made my way back upstairs, to find Aidan emerging from the bathroom across the hall from our room, hair wet from the shower.  
“What’s wrong?” he asked with concern upon seeing my crestfallen expression.   
“It’s nothing,” I said dismissively, turning into our room and sitting down on the edge of the bed.  
“It’s obviously not love. I can see that something’s gone and upset you. Please talk to me,” he implored, joining me on the bed.  
I shook my head.  
“I don’t want to cause a fight,” I confessed.  
“Why would we fight?” he probed.  
“Not between us,” I explained.  
The concern etched into Aidans face convinced me to tell him.   
“Your parents don’t like me,” I sighed.  
“They just don’t know you yet, give them some time.”  
“No, it’s not that Aidan, I…” I paused unsure how much to tell him.  
“Whatever it is Hayles, please, just tell me?”  
“I overheard them talking downstairs,” I began, and I told him exactly what I’d heard.   
When I finished speaking Aidan stood and walked towards the door.  
“Where are you going?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.  
“I’m going to talk to them,” he seethed.  
“Aidan no,” I stood, grabbing his arm.  
“Please, I don’t want to cause a fight. Please just pretend I didn’t say anything,” I begged.  
“Hayley I can’t pretend, and I won’t,” he countered, turning to face me. “And you haven’t caused anything. You’ve been nothing but wonderful and kind to them and they have no reason to treat you like this. I love you and I won’t stand by and let people hurt you, even if they’re my family.”  
At that, he pulled open the door and walked downstairs.   
I followed quickly behind him, but stopped at the bottom of the stairs, too afraid to enter the room, and instead sat on the last step, listening.  
“Aidan darling there you are,” Erin called cheerfully, “I was just about to come find you. We thought we might head up to Aunty Eileen’s for New Year’s Eve, would you and Hayley like to join us?”  
“I don’t think we’ll be staying till then mum,” Aidan replied abruptly.   
“Oh? I thought you were staying for a few weeks son,” his father replied questioningly.   
“That was before I overheard the two of you talking about my fiancé earlier.”  
I grimaced. Of course he would lie and keep me out of it as much as possible.  
“Aidan I’m not sure what you thought you heard but…” Erin began, before Aidan cut her off.  
“What I KNOW I heard was you insulting Hayley. If you can’t accept her, then there is no reason for me to stay here any longer,” Aidan spat.  
“Sweetheart, we’re just concerned about you,” Erin pleaded.   
“ENOUGH!” I heard Aidan yell.   
Quickly, I rose from my seat on the staircase and ran into the room, placing myself between Aidan and his parents.   
“Stop Aidan,” I begged, placing a hand on his chest, “Please, don’t be mad at them.”  
“You don’t have to defend them Hayles, just because they’re my family, it doesn’t give them the right to insult you. You’re my family too,” he soothed.  
“I know and I love you for that, but please. Please just don’t be mad at your mum," I pleaded. "Life’s too short,” I added in a murmur and without meaning to, my eyes had started to tear.   
With that, all the anger had drained out of Aidans face as he pulled me comfortingly against his chest.   
“I’m sorry love, I’m sorry. I know. I know,” he murmured, soothingly rubbing circles into my back with the flat of his hand.   
“Maybe we should all just calm down a little and sit down and talk about this,” Aidan’s dad had suggested calmly in the awkward silence that followed.   
“Yeah, ok,” Aidan had accepted, not letting go of me. “I think that’s a good idea.”  
The rest of the day and much of the evening had been spent discussing Erin and Matthews concerns and attempting to convince them of the sincerity of our feelings and the strength of relationship.  
Eventually, hours after a tense dinner, we had reached a shaky understanding, although it was still decided that Aidan and I would not be staying in Dublin as long as we had originally planned.  
In fact we only stayed two more days, flying out of Dublin airport early in the morning of the last day of 2011.   
We arrived in Vancouver after dark on New Year’s Eve and caught a taxi home from the airport. Since dad and Danni were still in Dallas for the holidays, we let ourselves into the empty house using the spare key and set about starting the fire to warm ourselves by. 

We hadn’t spoken about Aidans parents much since that night, so after we were snuggled up on the couch with the TV playing the usual New Year’s celebrations, the fire crackling away merrily, I turned in Aidans arms to look him in the eye.  
“I’m sorry,” I offered, sombrely.  
“There’s nothing to apologize for love,” he murmured softly. "But thanks all the same," he added.  
“I love you,” I hummed as I leaned in to kiss him.   
The TV was forgotten as we welcomed in the New Year in front of the warmth of the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned for Aidans parents to dislike Hayley but i felt that at least one of their families would have an issue with their relationship. So I hope this didn't feel to out of place in the fluff story that this is becoming


	19. The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

Dad and Danneel arrived home on the 3rd of January, to find Aidan and myself eating lunch in the living room while watching trashy day time TV.   
“What are you two doing here?” dad asked in surprise, “I thought you weren’t going to be here till the end of the month?”  
“Yeah,” I replied, “Christmas with the in-laws didn’t exactly go as well as I’d hoped.”  
I shook my head at his questioning expression.  
“Donna and Alan said to say hello,” Danni supplied.   
I smiled at her greatful for the topic change.  
The next two months were spent in relative normalcy, especially considering the circus that we usually lived in.  
In early March I made my way to the set for my first day as Charlie. It was a really odd feeling, being on set as an actor. I’d spent half my life growing up on the set of Supernatural and now here I was being treated as one of the stars.   
The situation was made even weirder by the fact that there were a lot of PA’s that had only started working on the show within the last year and so had never met me. There were people who referred to me as Ms. Ackles, which was just freaking me out completely.  
After read-throughs and days spent in wardrobe, I spent the morning of my first day of filming in the hair and makeup department alongside Jared and dad.   
“Heads up!” Jared yelled, as a gummy bear flew past my head.  
I yelped in surprise.  
“Calm down Hayles,” dad laughed, “You’re acting like you’ve never done this before.”  
“This is different,” I bit back defensively, “I feel like I’m still a kid here.”  
“You’ll be fine,” Jared replied with a comforting squeeze of my shoulder as he left the trailer to head to the wardrobe department. Dad followed shortly after with a kiss on my cheek, while I spent another half hour having a red wig fitted over my short brown pixie haircut.   
The first scene I filmed was with dad and Jared which helped with my nerves. The scene involved Sam and Dean finding my character in her house and explaining to her about the supernatural world. After getting through the first scene in only a few takes I relaxed and the next two weeks flew by. I had so much fun working on the show and when cut was called on my last scene I was sad to leave the set.   
When I made it back to hair and makeup I found Jeremy Carver waiting for me.  
“Jeremy, what can I do for you?” I asked as I started removing my wig.  
“I was wondering if you know your filming schedule, now that you’ve landed a part in The Hobbit, Congrats on that by the way.”  
“Thanks,” I smiled, “I’m needed on set from May through till mid-July and then pickups aren’t until May next year. Why do you ask?”  
“Well after seeing how well the three of you work on screen together, we’ve all been talking about bringing Charlie back for a few more episodes. Is that something you’d be interested in?”  
“Really? Absolutely! This was so much fun, and I love Charlie’s character,” I responded enthusiastically.   
“Great, well we haven’t discussed all the details but Ben and I, were thinking 2 episodes next season would be great, but we can sort that out when we start writing season 8.”  
“Sounds great,” I grinned.  
“Great,” Jeremy agreed, “I better let you get going. I’m sure you’ve still got plenty of work to do for the wedding. I can’t believe you’re getting married next month. It seems like only yesterday you were a little 13 year old, running around set.”  
“My god, the wedding! I’ve been so caught up with filming I’d almost completely forgotten!” I exclaimed.   
Jeremy laughed as he left the trailer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be a few days before the next update. The wedding is the next chapter and i want to do it justice.


	20. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Aidan get married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so i thought this would take a lot longer to write but once i got started i just couldn't stop.

It was an unusually warm 29° in Dallas for late April.   
I sat in the bathroom of my grandparents’ house as Mackenzie and Danneel applied the finishing touches to my make-up.   
“There,” Mackenzie declared suddenly, stepping back from me to admire her work, “You look perfect.”  
I smiled.  
“Now time for the dress.”  
We all turned towards the doorway at the sound of my grandmother’s voice.  
Shortly after, I was standing in front of a full length mirror.  
My short brunette hair was swept back from my face and I wore pearl studs in my ears.  
A small diamond pendant hung around my neck from a simple silver chain.  
My dress was ivory, strapless with a sweetheart neckline. Below the bust a sash of silver satin encircled my waist and from there, the smooth material of the dress cascaded to the floor.   
I twirled once, watching the ivory skirt flare, laughing as I moved.  
Once the material settled, I was joined in front of the mirror by Danneel.   
“I know I’m not your mum,” she murmured, “But my mother wore this on her wedding day, and I wore it on mine.”  
She placed in the palm of my hand, a small silver hair clip, incrusted with 3 small sapphires.  
“Danni,” I started, pausing to hold back the tears threatening to spill down my face, “You may not be my mum, but you are my family. Thank you.”  
She nodded, taking back the clip and using it to pin my fringe back from my face.  
“Alright well now that your ready Hayles, we better get going,” Mackenzie piped up cheerfully.  
I was silent throughout the car ride to Aldridge House, where both the ceremony and reception were being held.  
When we arrived the guests were already seated and Dad was waiting for us as the car pulled up.  
He held the door open for me as I climbed out and pulled me into hug.   
“You look so beautiful bubs,” he choked out, “Mum would’ve been so proud of you.”  
I smiled at him, tears shining in my eyes.  
“Don’t you make me cry,” I warned, “I don’t have time to fix my makeup.”  
He nodded and offered me his arm as we walked up the stairs to the front entrance.  
We walked through the foyer and paused before a set of large wooden doors, as my grandmother made her way past us to take her seat beside Josh and Alan, out on the grass beneath a large white marquee.  
Shortly after she was seated, I was asked by one of the venues staff if I was ready, and after a quick nod the music started to play.  
Danneel made her way down the aisle first and was followed a few moments later by Kenzie. Once both had made it down the aisle and were standing beside the altar, dad whispered,  
“Here we go kiddo.”  
And with those words we had stepped through the doors and down three short steps, before moving onto a white carpet that lead between the rows of crisp white chairs.   
Once I had safely made it down the stairs without tripping, my eyes lifted to take in everything around me.  
My gaze first fell on the faces of my family and friends, all turned in their seats to watch as dad and I made our way past. Then as I looked past them my eyes fell on the altar and Aidan standing there.  
He was dressed in a black suit with a silver bowtie that matched the sash on my dress and the bridesmaids’ dresses. His groomsmen, his brother Declan and his Hobbit co-star Dean O’Gorman, were dressed in similar suits, with black dress shirts and silver ties.  
But all of this I acknowledged only fleetingly, as the core of my attention was drawn to the smile stretched across Aidans face as he stared at me.  
When we made it the end of the aisle, Dad kissed me on the cheek and placed my hand in Aidans as I climbed the two small steps to where he was standing with the priest.   
The ceremony was simple and traditional, and after exchanging vows and rings we kissed as our family and friends clapped and cheered.  
As the guests slowly filed inside to the bar for the beginnings of the cocktail hour, we made our way through the grounds blooming with springtime flowers.   
As I stood on the banks of a serenely calm pond enveloped within Aidan’s arms, I was joined by the rest of our bridal party and our parents.   
Aidan later estimated that thousands of photos were taken out there in the gardens.   
The photographer constantly rearranged us. First just Aidan and myself, then we were joined by Dean and Danni and Declan and Mackenzie, then dad, Danni and myself, then just dad and I, then Aidan and his parents and then I was standing beside Aidan again with our parents on either side.   
Eventually the photographer declared that he had got everything and we made our way back through the grounds and inside Aldridge House. Aidan and I paused in the foyer as the rest of our group made their way into the ballroom.  
Josh had taken up the job as MC and as we heard him pick up the microphone and begin to welcome the guests, I took advantage of our first and only moments alone.   
“I love you,” I murmured, leaning into Aidan’s chest.  
He chuckled.  
“I love you too.”  
And then we were walking through the doors into the ballroom and as our friends and family stood around us clapping I heard Josh announce,  
“Please welcome the new Mr and Mrs Turner.”  
At that my smile widened, and I felt Aidans grip on my hand tighten ever so slightly  
We took to the dance floor and as the music started I leaned in against Aidans shoulder as we slowly started to turn.   
“I’ve never been happier than I am right now,” Aidan whispered in my ear.   
“Me too,” I whispered back, “Thanks again for letting me have the wedding in Dallas, it’s just feels like mums here with me.”  
Aidans smile blossomed, genuine and uninhibited.  
“I know baby,” he murmured as he turned my face up to kiss me.  
The guests joined us on the dance floor shortly after our ‘first kiss’ and as the music played I was handed off to other members of my family.  
Jared was the first.  
“Do you mind if I borrow her for a minute Aidan,” he asked, appearing beside us on the dance floor.  
“Of course not,” Aidan replied, kissing me quickly before stepping back to allow Jared to take his place.  
I took his hand and laughed when I couldn’t reach his shoulder.  
“How on earth am I supposed to dance with you moose?” I joked.  
He chuckled and placed his hands on my waist, lifting me so that I was standing on his feet.  
I laughed again as we slowly turned.  
“You look beautiful Hayley.”  
You don’t clean up too bad yourself,” I blushed.  
“Seriously though,” Jared replied, “It’s so good to see you happy after everything that’s happened.”  
“Thanks Jar”.   
As the song drew to a close I was handed off to my grandfather.   
“She’s all yours Alan” Jared said as he stepped away.

As the next song wound down, we all made our way to our seats for dinner, and after the meal Josh returned to the microphone.  
“If I could have everyone’s attention, please I would like to welcome Hayley and Jensen to the dance floor for the customary father, daughter dance.”   
Dad held his hand out to me as I stood, and we made our way out onto the dance floor, just as the music began to play.   
The opening bars of Rascal Flats, My Wish, started to play and I grinned over at Danni in appreciation.   
We started to rock back and forth in silence at first, until dad slowly sang in my ear.  
“If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile. But more than anything, More than anything. My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to.”   
As the chorus continued we were joined on the dance floor by Mackenzie and Alan and then slowly other father, daughter pairings made their way to the dance floor.  
“I’m so proud of you kiddo,” dad whispered in my ear as we danced.   
“Thanks dad,” I choked through the building tears.   
We continued to turn until the song ended and as the next song began, Aidan was at my side.  
“Mind if I cut in?” he asked.  
“She’s all yours,” dad replied meaningfully as Aidan took his place in front of me.  
The rest of the night was spent dancing and going from table to table greeting all our guests.   
We began at my family’s table, where the ten seats around the large circular table were taken up my dad, Danni, Mackenzie and her husband Ben, Josh and his wife Alexis, my grandparents and Jared and Gen.  
We then moved on to the table with Aidans family and a few childhood friends, and while Aidan was talking to one of his high school mates, Erin pulled me aside.  
“I just wanted to apologize again for what happened at Christmas Hayley,” she said.  
“Oh, you don’t have to apologize again Erin. Really, even my dad was against it all in the beginning,” I replied.  
“When I first came home from the UK, he was not at all OK with the idea of me dating someone so much older, but as soon as he met Aidan and saw the two of us together he realised.”  
She nodded and after giving me a hug, she returned to her seat and Aidan and I made our way to the next table which contained some of The Hobbit cast and crew.  
Andy Serkis and Peter Jackson were there as well as Richard Armitage, Martin Freeman, Luke Evans, James Nesbitt, Graham McTavish, Jed Brophy, Adam Brown and of course Dean.  
“Having a good time boys?” I greeted as we approached the table.  
We were in turn greeted with a collection of ‘Yes’ and ‘You look great’.  
We stayed at that table for a while laughing, before making our way around the room.   
A few hours later we made our way back to the front of the room, and once we did Josh made his way back to the microphone and called for everyone’s attention.  
“Time for a few speeches, so fill your glasses,” he called.  
Mackenzie started the speeches off as Maid of Honour, and was followed by Deans Best Man speech. Both our dads also spoke and after opening it up to the floor, Peter also had a few words to say.   
Eventually the evening started to wind to a close and after saying farewells Aidan and I made our way into the waiting car and headed to a nearby hotel.  
We spent the night there before making our way to the airport the following morning to fly to Sydney where we spent a few days on our honeymoon before returning to Wellington to continue work on The Hobbit.


	21. Tauriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley joins The Hobbit Cast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Hayley sings is Ed Sheerans 'I See Fire' although I based Hayleys version on Jasmine Thompsons cover.

I spent the first few weeks in Wellington undergoing weapons training and dialect coaching and soon I found myself on set with pointed ears and a bow in my hand.  
It was an incredible experience.  
I’d never worked on a project as big as The Hobbit and I’d never worked with green screens of this magnitude.  
It was an incredible learning experience and it felt great to back on set with Aidan.  
As the only female cast member left on set, the boys were very chivalrous towards me and we all enjoyed goofing around in between filming.

One afternoon we were all sitting around outside our trailers and I pulled out my guitar.  
I started off playing a few covers, but eventually built up my courage and started to sing some songs that I had written.  
“What’s that song?” Dean asked curiously as I finished playing.  
“Just something I wrote a few years ago,” I said dismissively.  
“You wrote that? I didn’t know you wrote music Hayles.”  
“Yeah, when I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time stuck on the couch or in hospitals so a friend of my dad, Steve Carlson, taught me how to play and then I just started writing my own stuff to pass the time,” I explained.  
“Play another one,” Luke requested.  
“OK, well umm… I wrote this one a few years ago about the Hobbit,” I offered nervously before I started to sing.

Oh, misty eye of the mountain below   
Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls   
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke   
Keep watching over Durin's sons 

Everyone feel silent as I started the strum, and as I sang the rest of the song I was unaware that others had walked over, including Peter.

And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side 

As the song drew to a close everyone started to clap and I blushed.  
I played a few more cover songs, before we were called back to set.

A few days later Peter approached me after we wrapped a scene.  
“I heard you singing the other day,” he started.  
“Oh?” I questioned as a blush spread across my cheeks.  
“That song about seeing fire, would you be willing to record it and let me use it in the second movie?” he asked.  
“Seriously?!” I choked, “yeah, holy crap yeah. You think it’s good enough for that?”  
“It’s a really good song Hayley,” Peter responded earnestly, “And you have an amazing voice.”

Moments later I was running up to Aidan absolutely beaming with pride.


	22. Comic Con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley participates in her first Comic Con panel

We all arrived in San Diego on a Friday morning in July for Comic Con. I was incredibly excited as I hadn’t been to Comic Con the previous two years and I had never been part of a panel.  
Friday evening Aidan and I left our fellow Hobbit cast members to have dinner with dad, Danni, Jared and Misha.   
Once we were all seated at the restaurant I turned to Jared.  
“So how’s it going Dad?” I asked.  
“It’s so amazing Hayles, he’s so perfect,” Jared gushed proudly and I spent the next half an hour looking at photos of baby Thomas on Jared’s phone.  
After dinner we said our farewells and headed back to our hotels.  
The next day found us heading to Hall H for the Hobbit panel.  
The panel consisted of Peter, Andy, Philippa, Ian, Martin, Richard, Elijah, Aidan and Dean.   
I watched on from the side of stage, simply enjoying seeing the excitement from the fans.  
Sunday saw us back in Hall H, although this time, Aidan was the one watching from side of stage as participated in my first ever panel.  
The Supernatural panel was comprised of Jeremy, Mark, Jared, Dad, Myself, Misha, Jim and Ben.  
“Relax,” Dad leaned over and whispered in my ear as we took our seats.  
“There are so many freaking people,” I responded nervously.  
He chuckled and squeezed my hand under the table.  
Luckily the first half an hour past without any questions being directed at me, and I made it through the MC’s questions without having to speak.  
So naturally the first fan question was for me.  
“Hi, my name is Sarah, I’m a huge fan. My question is for Hayley.”  
I sat up a little straighter in my seat.  
“The character of Charlie embodies many of the qualities that fans have complained about supernatural lacking,” she continued. “Do you think that the character was created in direct response to complaints that the show doesn’t contain enough female characters or any from the LGBT community?”  
“Ummm,” I began, “First of all, that’s an incredibly good question,” I said stalling for time while I thought of an answer that wasn’t completely moronic.   
“Ben and Jeremy can probably give a better insight into this, but from my perspective Charlie has been on the backburner for a few years, so no I don’t think she was created to answer those complaints, and as far as the LGBT aspect goes, that was actually my idea. In the original script that didn’t exist. When we were doing read-throughs I actually asked Ben why Dean hadn’t made a crack at Charlie and he couldn’t give me a legitimate reason. That was when I suggested that maybe Charlie was a lesbian purely because it gave us the reason we needed to justify why Charlie and Dean would never have a fling, because we obviously couldn’t have that play out.”  
As I finished speaking Dad mockingly gasped.  
“Oh Lord, that would have been traumatic!”  
The crowd laughed and we moved on to the next question.  
Over the next hour I fielded a few more questions about the Charlie and general questions about what it was like acting alongside my dad.   
The final question was directed to me again.  
“Hi, my question is for Hayley. You’ve mentioned in previous interviews that you’re a huge fan of the show and that you get star-struck when well-known actors guest star. Could you tell us about that?”  
“Yeah, I am a huge fangirl,” I laughed, “And it’s not just with Supernatural,” I added.  
“If you look at Charlie’s desk at the start of episode 20, all the figurines are actually mine, and I’m pretty much a Tumblr addict,” the crowd cheered.  
“It’s true,” dad added.  
“And even over the last 2 years as I’ve started working on becoming an actress in my own right, I still see myself as a fan first. And I think that really shapes my work. I know with my work on the Hobbit, it’s really directed the way I view my character and how I allow her to interact with other characters. But to get back to your question, I do fangirl on set. The worst time was probably when Richard Speight,” I paused as the crowd cheered again.  
“When Richard guest stared I was, what, 16? 17?” I asked, turning to dad.  
“17 I think,” he responded.  
“So yeah I was 17, and a huge fan of Jericho and there’s Deputy Bill standing in front of me and he said hi to me and all I could do was literally choke out the word ‘Deputy’, and then run away in shame. He still mocks me about that.”  
After that our time was up and we made our way off the stage.  
The following day Aidan and I joined the rest of the Supernatural cast on their flight back to Vancouver, where we stayed for a few weeks before flying to Toronto for Aidan to work on the Mortal Instruments film.


	23. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving with the supernatural family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for Hayley having a breakdown. Nothing too serious though :D

A few weeks after arriving in Toronto I received a call from dad to tell me that Misha’s wife, Victoria, had just given birth to a baby girl. They had yet to name her but I was promised that Vic would be bringing her and West to the annual Supernatural thanksgiving dinner, so I would get to meet her in a few months’ time.  
The next month went by quickly.  
Aidan was busy on set and I spent my time exploring Toronto, or writing more songs on my guitar. Ever since Peter had asked to use my Hobbit song for the movie, I had been feeling far more confident when it came to my music.  
Toward the end of October, Aidan drove me to the airport and I flew back to Vancouver to guest star on another Supernatural episode.  
The following week was one of the funniest experiences of my life.  
The episode centred around Sam and Dean catching wind of a few mysterious deaths and the common link between the victims was a LARPing game, where they run into Charlie.  
For most of the filming dad’s costume required him to dress up as a medieval squire, which Jared and I gave him a lot of crap about. It was a really fun set, more so than usual, and both cast and crew alike had a great time pranking each other.  
When we finally wrapped on the episode, I stayed in Vancouver for the first few days of the next episode, before set was shut down for Thanksgiving.   
Aidan flew in on Tuesday and I drove to the airport to pick him up.  
As I spotted him walking out of the gate, I pushed my way through the crowd and ran towards him. When I reached him I jumped into his arms and kissed him till we were both gasping for breath.  
“Could you be any more of a cliché?” Aidan chuckled.  
“I missed you.”  
“Hayley it’s only been two weeks,” he sighed, kissing me again before placing me on my feet.  
“I know,” I kissed him again, “but it felt like years.”  
Over the course of the following day everyone else arrived and so by Thursday we found ourselves back on set with massive trestle tables loaded with food.  
When we arrived I made a beeline straight for Misha who was cradling a little bundle of blankets to his chest.  
“Happy Thanksgiving Mish,” I greeted, with my eyes glued to the bundle in his arms.  
“Happy Thanksgiving Hayles,” he responded, “Wanna hold her?”  
I nodded enthusiastically and he chuckled as he handed his daughter to me.  
“Hey there little one,” I cooed, “Aren’t you just the cutest little girl?”  
Aidan joined me, wrapping his arms around my stomach, his chest pressed against my back as he leaned his head on my shoulder and looked down at the baby in my arms.  
“What’s her name Mish?” Aidan asked, briefly flicking his gaze up to Misha before returning it to watch her blowing spit bubbles and gurgling happily.  
“Maison Marie,” Misha replied, “But we mostly call her Maisy.”  
“Hello Maisy,” I continued to coo, “you’re one very lucky little girl, you know that? You have the coolest aunty Hayley to spoil you.”  
I grinned up at Misha and he grinned back conspiratorially.  
“That’s a good look on you Hayley,” Ty said as a way of greeting, “When are you and Aidan gonna have a bub of your own.”  
I smiled back at him and gave some non-committal response, only Aidan was aware of the way I tensed up at Ty’s words, and he gave a comforting kiss to the bend of my neck and a gentle squeeze of my waist.  
After a few more minutes I passed Maisy back to Misha and excused myself from the group.  
Aidan found me outside with my elbows perched on my knees and my face in my hands, heavy sobs shaky my shoulders.  
I didn’t look up as he sat down beside me, and as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders I turned into his chest hugging him to me tightly as I cried into the collar of his shirt.  
He didn’t try to speak to me and instead just rubbed soothing circles into my back with the palm of his hand, his other hand carding fingers through the short hair on the back of my head.  
Eventually, I drew silent and he pulled me back to look in my eyes.   
“I…” I choked.   
“Shhhh…” he soothed, when my voice faltered, “it's okay Hayles, I know, it’s okay.”  
I nodded and leaned my head back against his shoulder.   
“I want to be a mum, so bad Aidan,” I sighed into his shoulder, after the silence dragged on for another 10 or so minutes.  
He kissed my temple, as my breathing evened out.  
“We have options Hayley. We could adopt or try IVF or a surrogate.”  
“I know it just sucks,” I sighed again, “why can’t I ever just get a normal life?”  
“Because normal would bore you,” he chuckled, attempting to lift my mood.  
I smiled in appreciation.  
That was when dad found us.  
“Hey guys, everyone’s ready to eat so…” he began before catching sight of my tear stained cheeks. “Hayley, what’s wrong?” concern dripping from his words.  
“I’m ok,” I said trying to reassure him. One look at his face told me that I had been entirely unsuccessful.  
“It’s nothing really. I was just holding Maisy inside and Ty said something about having a kid of my own and it just stirred up all the old wounds. I guess I’m not as ok as I thought I was about not being able to have kids,” I said the last part with a bit of a chuckle in an attempt to lift the mood but it came out more strangled, which just warranted more concern from the two men watching me closely.  
“Really, I’m ok,” I tried again, wiping my sleeve across my cheek.  
The rest of the day went by without any more breakdowns and after a few worried glances when I took my seat at the table, the happy atmosphere took over and soon I was joining in with the laughter.  
After we all finished eating, dad stood and shushed everyone.  
“I have an announcement,” he called as Danni stood up from her seat beside him.  
He flicked a quick glance over at me, and another look of pained concern flashed through his eyes before Danni spoke up.  
“We’re having a baby!” she called and I felt my face pale, a moment later I had an almost believable grin plastered on my face.  
As everyone rushed forward to offer hugs and congratulations, Aidan reached over and gave my hand a comforting squeeze.  
"I'm Ok," I lied.  
We stayed sitting there for 10 minutes before I noticed dad pushing his way through the crowd towards us.  
"I wanna go home," I declared, standing abruptly.  
Aidan followed my gaze and saw dad heading towards us. Silently nodding, he turned and led the way out to the car park.   
As we walked through the door, I paused and glanced back over my shoulder.  
Dad had made his way through the crowd and was standing frozen in place, watching us leave, a look of pain etched across his face.  
When I saw that look I almost turned back to comfort him, but I had my own pain that needed healing, and that wasn't going to happen here.  
I mouthed the words 'I love you', before turning back and following Aidan to the car.  
The moment the car door closed behind me, the tears returned.  
"Hayley?" Aidan worried, with his hand hovering over the keys in the ignition.  
"I just want to go home babe," I whimpered.  
He nodded and started the car.  
Dad and Danni arrived home 2 hours after we did, and dad found Aidan and I curled up on our bed.  
The tears had dried up a while ago, but I was still clutching at Aidans chest for support.  
"Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly as he hovered in the doorway.   
"I'll be right outside," Aidan promised as he loosened my grip on his shirt and left the room.  
I panicked for a moment before dad took Aidans place on the bed and allowed me to curl up against him.  
"I'm so sorry bubs," he started, kissing the crown of my head and rubbing a soothing hand over my arm, "Talk about the worst timing."  
I shook my head and took a steadying breath.  
"Don't be sorry dad. I'm happy for you. Really. I'm just jealous," I confessed.  
We stayed like that for a while in silence before I fell asleep.


	24. The Hobbit World Premiere

Towards the end of November, 5 weeks before the filming wrapped on Mortal Instruments, Aidan and I were on a flight to Auckland in New Zealand. We were heading the World Premiere of The Hobbit in Wellington and would be returning in a week, so that Aidan could continue filming.  
Once we arrived in Auckland we were greeted with hugs from Dean, before he herded us through the airport to our connecting flight to Wellington.   
The plane was decorated with giant images of the dwarves on its flanks and I stood, mesmerized for a while, staring up at it. We were joined on the flight by other members of the cast, and there were members of the media present conducting interviews on the short flight. I spent most of the trip reading The Hobbit, something I always did before seeing a movie that was a book-adaptation. A few reporters took photos of me reading, but very few were interested in me as my character would not appear until the second movie.   
Once we arrived in Wellington, we were joined on the tarmac by the rest of the cast. After photos were taken in front of the plane, the rest of the day was spent heading from interview to interview.   
The roar of the crowd was overwhelming as Aidan, Dean and I stepped out of the car and onto the red carpet. We slowly made our way along the carpet, signing autographs and taking photos with fans until we finally reached the stage that had been built in front of the theatre.   
Speeches were made, and more photos were taken and then we made our way inside and took our seats.   
As the opening credits began to roll, I gripped Aidans hand tightly with anticipation.  
As we made our way out of the cinema, I pushed my way through the crowd until I found Peter.  
When he caught sight of me he gave me a silent, questioning look.  
"It was perfect!" I exclaimed in reply.  
His smile widened as we hugged.  
"I think I was more nervous about you reaction than anyone else’s," he confessed.  
"Well there was no need. I cried like a baby," I admitted.  
"She did," Aidan agreed with a chuckle as he appeared by my side.  
We made our way outside and into the waiting cars.  
The after party lasted well into the night and by the time we made it back to the hotel, I barely made it into the bed before I was fast asleep.


	25. Becoming Charlie and Tauriel again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Chapter edit* 6/8/14  
> I've come back to add in some much needed story for how Hayley dealt with Charlies emotional scenes in episode 8x20 so here have your heart ripped out with some crushing Hayley/Jensen feels.
> 
> Warnings for Hayley having a panic attack in relation to memories of her mother

\----------------  
Three Months Later  
\----------------

As March rolled around, I found myself once again slipping into the role of Charlie.  
Unlike the previous two episodes I had filmed, this time Aidan was in between roles and so he found himself in the unfamiliar situation of sitting off camera watching me act.  
The week and a half on set past by as it usually did, with a lot of jokes and pranks.  
Ever since Mortal Instruments had wrapped before Christmas I had been trying to get Aidan to shave off his beard. Every time it came up the conversation went exactly the same.  
“It’s scratchy!” I would declare, “I’m not kissing you until you get rid of it!”  
“But, I’ll have to shave it off for Hobbit pickups soon, just wait till then. I never get to keep it long before I get another role and have to shave it off,” Aidan would complain.  
It was a never ending battle and so I had intrusted dad and Jared to help me.  
One day during lunch, they had both run around set with water bombs and shaving cream, attacking everyone within sight.  
As they approached Aidan, Jared had tackled him to the ground and while both Jared and dad pinned him down I had attacked his face with hair-removal cream. Once his beard was completely covered, I helped Aidan back on his feet.  
At first he had laughed, until the smell began to register and his grin had turned to glare directed solely at me.  
“You might want to go get that off,” I chuckled.  
It had been a few days before Aidan had been able to see the funny side of that prank.  
Aside from the pranks, filming this episode was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do.   
There were some very emotional scenes that I had to film and thankfully, Bob Singer, who was directing the episode, left the two main ones until the last day of filming.   
We spent the morning tackling the first one, in which it was just dad and I on set.   
The scene involved Charlie telling Dean about her mum and Dean convincing her she had to let go.   
It was incredibly difficult to get through as Charlie’s story was based so heavily on my own, and I struggled to remember that it was Dean and Charlie in that scene and it was not dad telling me to let go off my mum.   
When Bob finally called a wrap on the scene I broke down and fell to my knees as I cried.   
Dad knelt down beside me pulling me into his arms.  
“It wasn’t real Hayley. It’s Ok, It wasn’t real,” he murmured soothingly, his voice thick with unshed tears.   
I had lunch with Aidan and collected myself and prepared for the final scene for the episode.   
“I’m scared I can’t do it Aidan,” I confessed as we walked towards set, “it’s too personal.”  
“What is it?” He asked, wrapping an arm around my chest.   
“Charlie goes to the hospital to take her mum off life support but before she does she sits down and starts to read The Hobbit to her one last time,” I explained, “I was reading it to mum when she died. It’s the last memory I have of her and it terrifies me.”  
"You're gonna be fine. I believe in you love," He stated calmly as he hugged me closer and when we reached the set, I saw dad sitting against the wall and he gave me a supportive look.   
We filmed a few set up shots first and before long it was time for the last shot.  
“When you’re ready Hayley,” Bob called, “Take all the time you need, we’re rolling.”  
Everyone collectively held their breath.   
They all knew how hard this shot was going to be for me, but it would make the episode and I was willing to do what was needed to sell Charlie’s character.   
I sat down in the chair and pulled my own, well-worn copy of The Hobbit out of a backpack, wiping away the tears on my cheek.  
“One last time, ok?” I asked.  
I took a deep breath and then read aloud four of the most important lines of literature I’d ever read in my life.  
“In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell. Nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat. It was a Hobbit hole and that means comfort.”  
“CUT!” Bob called, “That’s a wrap everybody.”  
I collapsed out of the chair, curling up on the floor, gasping for breath. Dad and Aidan were by my side in an instant and Aidan was pulling me onto his lap as he fell to the floor.   
The set quickly empty around us and in the silence they left behind my crying intensified.  
It felt like a hole had opened within my stomach.   
It felt like I’d lost her all over again and in that moment I was a scared little 9 year old girl again.  
Aidan rocked me back and forth, rubbing a soothing hand along my back.  
We stayed like that for what felt like hours until I calmed down and I was able to regain my breath.  
After Aidan helped me to my feet, I turned to dad and buried my head in his chest as he hugged me.   
“You were amazing Hayles,” he murmured, “I started crying before Bob called cut.”  
“I love you dad,” I replied.  
“I love you too. Mum would be so proud of who you’ve become.”  
We stayed in Vancouver until May.   
Dad and Danni threw me a huge party with all my family and friends to celebrate my 21st, although the party was held a week before my birthday, as Aidan and I were needed back in Wellington for Hobbit pickups.   
Aidan also organised a surprise party for me in Wellington.  
I hadn’t told anyone that it was my birthday, and so I spent the day on set filming like it was any other day.  
After I finished for the day, Aidan told me that he had a late scene scheduled so I hung around in our trailer to wait for him.  
A little after 6, Luke Evans knocked on my trailer and invited me to go for a walk.  
I was bored so I had accepted and he had ended up leading us to one of the main sound stages and everyone had jumped out yelling surprise.  
Aidan had laughed the hardest at my shocked expression.  
5 days later dad had called to tell me I had a little sister called JJ, who couldn’t wait to meet me.


	26. I See Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley records 'I See Fire' for the soundtrack and then starts to get sick

One day in the beginning of June, I was sitting in a recording studio for the first time in my life and more than a little nervous.   
Aidan wasn’t required on set that day so I could see him sitting in the control booth with a supportive smile on his face as I picked up my guitar.  
“Ok Hayley, how about you just lay down the original guitar track and then we can work on bringing in some other instruments,” the sound engineer suggested over the PA.  
I nodded and played the song through a few times.   
We then added vocals and mixed in a second guitar track over the course of the day.  
We ended up spending 3 days in the studio mixing the song and adding in string and woodwind instruments before we were happy with the final product and Peter came round at the end of the fourth day to listen to the track.  
“It’s fantastic Hayley,” he declared as the last bars played through the speakers.  
A few weeks later and four weeks before the end of pickups I began to get sick.   
I started most days throwing up and was convinced I was just overworked and that I would be fine after we finished pickups.  
For the first few days I managed to work through it without much hassle, until the fifth day.  
I was on set filming a scene with Aidan on two separate green screens, when halfway through my lines, a felt a pain in my stomach and doubled over.  
Aidan rushed over to me as I struggled to stand.  
“I’m ok. It’s nothing. I’m ok,” I said as he held me up.  
“Ok, yeah, no, I’m gonna throw up,” I confessed as I rushed to a nearby trashcan.  
“Alright that’s it,” Peter called out, “Hayley take the rest of the day off and get yourself to a doctor."  
I had done exactly that, and so that afternoon I sat nervously in a waiting room.  
When the nurse called my name and I sat down in the consultation room, I quickly explained my symptoms to the doctor.   
“Sounds like you’re pregnant,” he said confidently when I finished speaking.  
“That’s not possible,” I countered, “I had acute Hodgkin Lymphoma when I was a teenager. I was told I can’t get pregnant, that the chemo turned my eggs infertile.”  
“Well in that case I think the best thing is to take some blood samples and see what they show up, and then take it from there,” the doctor decided, clearly stumped on what was causing my symptoms if I wasn’t pregnant.  
I nodded, and after he had drawn my blood, I made an appointment for the following day to get the results.   
I called Peter on my way out of the clinic and he told me not to come to work the following day either.  
I went straight home and curled up on the couch with a blanket and the TV on low.   
I fell asleep before Aidan came home and woke up the following morning in bed, after Aidan had carried me there.


	27. The Absolute Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley gets her test results

I returned to the doctor’s clinic in the afternoon and Aidan joined me as his only remaining scenes to film were with me.  
The nurse ushered us into the Doctors office and we sat quietly in the empty room.  
After a few minutes, the doctor joined us and took a seat on the other side of his desk from us. I quickly introduced Aidan and then asked if the blood tests had shown up anything.  
“Well the thing is Mrs Turner,” he began.   
“Please call me Hayley,” I corrected.   
“Right, well Hayley, the thing is the blood tests did show up something,” he paused a looked between Aidan and myself for a moment before looking back at my test results.  
He looked nervous and I reached out to grab Aidans hand.  
“Is it the cancer?” I asked nervously, “its back isn’t it?”  
“What? No, no that’s not it at all,” the doctor stammered.  
“I’m not sure if this is going to be good news or not, but Hayley, you are pregnant.”  
There was silence for a minute as I stared at him, then Aidan was out of his seat and pulling me into his arms.  
“OMG,” he laughed, “We’re gonna be parents!”  
And the sound of Aidans words, it finally sunk in and a grin spread wide across my face and tears glistened unshed in my eyes.  
As soon as we got in the car I pulled out my phone and dialled dads number.  
“Hayles, what’s up?” dad asked as a way of greeting.  
“I’M GONNA HAVE A BABY!” I screamed excitedly.  
“What?” dad responded in shock, “How?... What?”  
“I just went to the doctors and by some miracle, I’m pregnant,” I explained, somewhat more calmly as Aidan continued to grin beside me.  
“I’m so happy for you Hayleybub!” dad replied, “Congrats! I’ll see you when you get home in two months.”  
It was only after hanging up that I realised what he’d said.  
“Oh shit,” I mumbled.  
“What?” Aidan asked a worried edge to his voice.  
“I’m supposed to do a supernatural episode in August, but I’ll be like, 18 weeks by then.”  
I quickly dialled Bob Singers number, waiting as the phone rang.  
“Hayley, to what do I owe this honour?” Bob said in greeting, “Or should I say what’s wrong.”  
“Bob, hey, I was just wondering whether you’ve locked in shoot dates for season 9 yet,” I said hesitantly.  
“We’re still juggling things around, why?”  
“Well I’m just wondering if we could push episode 4 up in the schedule, because I just found out I’m pregnant and I’ll be showing by mid-august,” I explained.  
“You’re pregnant? Oh that’s fantastic! Leave it with me and we’ll work something out. We might be able to do 4 first before the boys go to Comic Con. I’ll call you in a few days. Let me know what your pickup schedule is for next month.”  
“Ok, I’ll text it through to you. Oh and please don’t tell too many people, it’s pretty early at this stage.”  
“Of course, talk to you soon hon.”  
I hung up and smiled over at Aidan.   
Three weeks later I filmed my last scene for The Hobbit and said goodbye to Aidan before I flew straight to Vancouver that night.  
I arrived as dawn was breaking and went straight to set from the airport.


	28. Charlie and Comic Con

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Chapter edit* 6/8/14  
> I realised that in my excitement to write chapter 30, I completely forgot to write about Hayley meeting JJ for the first time so I've come back to fix my error.  
> Hope you like the additional paragraph :D

As soon as I climbed out of the car, a PA was by my side escorting me to the makeup trailer, and hour later I was standing on set, back in Charlies long red haired wig, in jeans, a pink t-shirt and a cotton-checked button up shirt.  
It was only then that I finally saw dad, who upon seeing me scooped me up into his arms.   
“Hey there, Gramps,” I chuckled in his ear.  
He quickly placed me back on my feet and grimaced.  
“I’m not nearly old enough to hear that,” he whined.  
I laughed and then hugged Jared too.  
“Congratulations Hayles,” he said.  
“Thanks Jar.”  
The first day on set was spent filming a few establishing scenes and before long dad and I were in the car on the way home.   
As soon as I entered the house Danneel walked out of the living room and into the entry hallway, holding JJ in her arms.   
I headed straight for her and after a quick hello Danni passed the baby over to me and I was staring down at my little sister.   
“Hey there,” I cooed, “It’s so good to finally meet you baby girl.”  
I started swaying as I walked into the living room, and bounced JJ in my arms as I continued to coo at her.  
“I’m your big sister. Yes I am, and I am gonna spoil you.”  
Dad laughed as he stood behind me as he leaned against the door frame watching his two daughters.   
I barely put JJ down for the rest of the night.  
“You’re a natural at this Hayles,” Danni commented as I cradled JJ against my chest with one hand and ate dinner with the other.  
“Well thank god for that, won’t be long now till you’ll be holding your own,” dad added.   
“It honestly can’t come soon enough,” I replied, “I’ve never been happier.”  
The next week flew by and I decided to join Jared, Dad and Misha when they flew to San Diego for Comic Con.  
When we arrived I was quickly added to the guest list and along with Mark, the five of us conducted a panel in hall H.  
Unlike last year I was far less nervous and really enjoyed the panel.  
Plenty of questions were directed towards me about being the only female, working with dad and more of the usual questions and I was able to answer them all confidently and easily.  
Although towards the end of the panel a fan directed a question to me that I hadn’t anticipated.  
“Hi, since there isn’t a panel for The Hobbit this year and you’re the only cast member here at Comic Con, I was wondering if you had any new announcements about the Desolation of Smaug, Hayley.”  
I laughed nervously at being put under pressure.  
“Well I can tell you that there is still filming going on right now. Pickups will wrap in a few weeks, so that’s why we couldn’t do a panel, and it’s also why we don’t have a trailer for you yet. What I can tell you is to head to Peters official YouTube channel tomorrow, because we will be launching the end credits song. I’m very excited for you guys to hear it. I wrote and performed the song myself so I hope you guys like it.”  
We spent the rest of the weekend in San Diego before we all flew back to Vancouver.  
Two weeks later, after wrapping pickups, Aidan joined me in Vancouver where we stayed until mid-august, when we flew to New York for the Mortal Instruments Premiere.


	29. Premieres and Baby Bumps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley and Aidan attend the premieres for the Mortal Instruments: City of Bones and The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Mortal Instruments Dress based off Emma Watsons MTV Movie Awards 2011 Red Carpet Dress, the Smaug dress is based off Kristen Bells 2013 Golden Globe dress, although I changed the rhinestone part on the top into a lace cardigan.

Walking down the red carpet I felt fantastic. I had recently started to grow a visible baby bump and Aidan and I had decided not to make an official announcement and instead just wait for a journalist to ask.  
So there I was on the red carpet in a tightly fit white dress that ended midway down my thighs with Aidans arm around me as we posed for photos.  
Aidan leaned in to whisper in my ear, leaning one hand on my shoulder blades while the other rested on the small bump.   
“You look so beautiful.”  
I smiled up at him as he leaned back and I kissed him, placing one of my hands over his on my stomach.  
It was that moment that was captured by the photographers nearby and adorned the covers of the Gossip Magazines the following day.

\---------------  
4 MONTHS LATER  
\---------------

“I’m not going,” I pouted.  
“Hayley,” Aidan sighed in exasperation, “it’s the premiere for your first big movie. You have to go.”  
“I look like a whale,” I complained, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I was 33 weeks pregnant and very much showing it.  
The pregnancy had gone by easily, and I had very few issues. That was until it came time to get dressed up for the red carpet.  
I stood in front of the mirror turning back and forward as I examined the fit of my silver full length gown.  
The dress was fitted around the bust with a sweetheart neckline, and the skirt fell loosely from below the bust over my very large baby bump. I wore a high-necked lace cardigan over the top which had short sleeves and was clasped at the bust line with a simple silver button, leaving it open over my neck and collarbones.  
“You look perfect,” Aidan murmured as he stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms protectively around my stomach, placing a kiss behind my ear.  
I sighed and allowed him to help me down the stairs, since I couldn’t see my feet.  
Dean was waiting for us down stairs and shared a car with us to the Dolby theatre, in downtown LA.  
Aidan helped me out of the car, to the screams of fans lining the red carpet and I smiled and waved to them as the car drove away.  
Slowly we walked down the red carpet, signing autographs, taking photos and chatting with excited fans. Along the way we encountered fellow cast members that we hadn’t seen in the months since wrapping pickups.  
“Hayley, look at you!” Richard exclaimed as he hugged me and then turned to hug Aidan.   
“Oh God I know I’m huge,” I moaned.  
He laughed as he signed more autographs.  
Along the way fans gave Aidan and I gifts for the baby and by the time we reached the end of the red carpet we both had our arms full of teddy bears and hand knitted items and we were greatful when two PA’s appeared to take them from us.  
Once at the end of the carpet I was pulled over to take photos with my fellow elves, Orlando and Lee. I was then joined once again by Aidan and more photos were taken. As we approached the front doors to the Dolby Theatre we finally came across Peter, who smiled and hugged as both in greeting.  
“Gosh Hayley, you must be about ready to pop!” he chuckled.  
“Only 7 weeks to go,” I responded.  
We posed for a few more photos and then made our way into the theatre and took our seats.


	30. 33 weeks ain't enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *warnings for pregnancy complications*
> 
> -CHAPTER EDIT-  
> 8/8/14  
> I've come back and put this chapter back in past tense after the issues i had with the later chapters
> 
> This is also the original ch30&31 combined

I grumbled as I rolled into bed after the premiere.   
“My feet hurt,” I complained as Aidan climbed into bed beside me, “and my back hurts.”  
Aidan moved towards me and began massaging my back as he peppered my neck and shoulders with kisses.  
“Better?” he murmured.  
“Hmmmm,” was all I could offer on response as I relaxed into his touch and let my eyes flutter closed.  
I was pulled awake by sudden pain in my stomach.   
I could feel Aidan’s chest pressed against my back and the weight of his arm draped across my hip was comforting as I struggled to orientate myself in the darkness.   
I looked over to the clock to see that it was just past 3am.  
Only then did I feel the warmth spreading between my legs, and I began to panic.  
“Aidan!” I gasped, shaking him awake, “Aidan, I think my water just broke!”  
“Mmm… What?” he asked sleepily, “But you still have 7 weeks?”  
As his own words sink in he sat bolt upright in bed, wide awake.  
As he reached over to flick on the bedside light I was already peeling back the covers and as the lamp lit up the room I tried to stifle a gasp.  
There was blood spread out on the hotel sheets and my pyjama shorts were drenched.   
“Hayley!” Aidan gasped in shock.  
I began to cry as he jumped out of bed, grabbing his phone and calling an ambulance.  
“Baby it’s gonna be ok,” he tried to sooth me.  
He sat down next to me on the bed and pulled me against his chest as the operator on the other end of the phone picked up.   
“Hello? I need an ambulance to the Ritz-Carlton Hotel!” Aidan demanded in a panic.  
“My wife is 33 weeks pregnant and there’s blood everywhere.”  
I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as another wave of pain swept through my body.  
I curled in on myself and tried to hold back the scream building in my chest.  
Then everything went black.  
I opened my eyes and squinted against the bright lights.  
“Hayley?” I heard Aidans voice to my right, “Baby, you’re gonna be fine, you’re in an ambulance. Everything’s gonna be ok.”  
Then it was black again.  
When I woke again, I felt fingers carding through my hair and the light pressure of lips against my forehead.  
“Aidan?” I mumbled without opening my eyes.  
“I’m right here love,” I heard him sigh.  
“What’s happening?” I croaked.   
“Jellybean got the placenta tangled around himself and when he moved he did a fair bit of damage,” Aidan began to explain, “they’re getting ready to do a C-section.”  
“No!” I gasped, my eyes flying open, “No! He’s not strong enough, he’s too little. No!”  
“The doctors know what they’re doing love, just try to stay calm.”  
Then the blackness came again.   
I felt the weight of it pushing me down and I tried to fight it but I was too tired.  
I felt like I was being pulled under until a firm pressure pushed against my stomach and a weak cry cut through the fog.  
I struggled towards the sound but was pulled back into the thickening black.  
As I woke again I blinked against the soft light filtering in through the window that looked out onto the empty hallway.   
Once my eyes adjusted to the light I noticed a familiar pressure on my left hand and looking down I found Aidans hand wrapped around it.   
Aidan was fast asleep in a chair next to my bed, his dark curly hair messier than usual and he had dark shadows under his eyes as well as a few days’ worth of stubble shadowing his jaw.   
He looked in desperate need of as much sleep as he could get so I didn’t wake him and instead slowly moved my gaze around the large, private hospital room.   
To my right dad and Jared were also asleep, dad slumped forward in his seat with his head pillowed on his arms on the small coffee table in the corner, while Jared was stretched out on the small two seated couch with his long limbs hanging off at awkward angles.   
They looked just as exhausted as Aidan and I wondered to myself how long I’d been asleep.   
It was then that I noticed the oxygen mask resting over my mouth and nose.   
I lifted the hand that Aidan wasn’t holding to move it and pain irrupted along my waistline.   
I couldn’t help the pained gasp that escaped my mouth.   
Aidan stirred in his seat, squinting against the light.  
“Hey,” I croaked.  
“Hayley? Oh thank god!” he stammered, as he rose from his chair and placed as kiss on my forehead, running his hand over my hair.  
As he pulled back to look at me I noticed the tears streaming down his face.   
“I thought I was gonna lose you,” he confessed, wiping away the tears as more fell to replace them.   
“How long?” I asked, voice still hoarse.  
“You’ve been unconscious for four days. You’re heart stopped twice. The doctors have been telling me to be prepared for the worst and I…”he fell silent before he could continue and instead he lifted the oxygen mask and leaned in to kiss me.  
The kiss was passionate and desperate and said all the things Aidan couldn’t voice.   
All the fear, and the pain.   
“The baby?” I asked after I regained my breath.  
“He’s doing ok. They’ve got him in an incubator in the NICU. He was having trouble breathing for the first few days so they have him on oxygen support but he’s a fighter,” Aidan smiled weakly and before I could say anything else dad and Jared were stirring at the sound of our voices.   
“Hey there sleeping beauty,” Jared joked.  
I tried to laugh, but ended up wincing in pain and Aidan left the room to find a nurse.  
“Please don’t ever scare me like that again, hayleybub,” Dad pleaded as he hugged me.   
“It was bad wasn’t it?” I asked in response.  
He nodded and explained to me that my heart had given out during the emergency C-section and then twice more while I was unconscious for four days.   
“Aidan was a mess,” dad confessed, “So was I bub.”  
“I’m sorry,” I murmured because I had no idea what else to say.  
I looked up as I heard the door open and Aidan crossed the room to sit down beside me on the bed and card his fingers through my hair.  
A doctor entered the room after Aidan and cleared his throat.  
“Mrs Turner,” he began professionally, “It’s good to see you awake, you’ve had us all very concerned.”  
Aidans hand moved to cup the side of my face and I leaned into his warmth as his thumb rubbed along my cheek.  
The doctor continued for a while using a lot of medical terms that none of us actually understood.  
“So basically we want to keep you in for at least a week to monitor your vitals but then we should be able to discharge you,” he concluded.  
“When can I see my son?” I asked.   
“Probably not until tomorrow or the day after,” he replied, “he’s up in the NICU and you’re not ready to be out of bed yet, but as soon as I think you’re healthy enough I’ll have a nurse take you up there in a wheelchair ok?”  
I nodded, “But he’s ok?”  
“As far as I’m aware. I’ll let his paediatrician know that you’re awake and get him to come down and have a chat with you.”  
He turned and left the room.   
“You feel up for visitors Hayley?” Dad asked.  
“Visitors?” I asked cautiously.  
“Yeah, all the hobbit cast were here for the first two days,” Aidan explained, “most of them had to leave but Richard, Luke, Peter and Dean are still here.”  
“Gran and Pa are here too,” dad added, “The arrived yesterday.  
“Yeah, I’d like to see them,” I admitted and Jared left the room.


	31. Nothing More Important Than Family and Friends

“Aidan, can you help me sit up?” I asked.  
“Yeah of course love, here,” he replied, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and helping me sit up.   
He moved the pillows behind be to prop me up as I grimaced at the pain from my incision.  
I was sitting comfortably when Jared returned, with everyone in tow.  
My grandma was the first one at my side and she leaned in to hug me.  
“You doing ok Hon?” she asked with worry colouring her voice.  
“Yeah, bit tired but other than that I’m good,” I responded as I smiled up at everyone gathered around my bed.  
Luke, Richard and Dean collapsed onto the little two seater couch, where Jared had recently been sleeping.   
“You guys look exhausted,” I complained.  
“Yeah well we didn’t all get to pass out for four days,” Dean quipped with a smirk.  
“You’ve been here the whole time?” I questioned.   
“Aidan called at about 4am and told us you were heading into surgery, and we all came straight here,” Richard explained.   
“I’m glad you were all here for him,” I sighed, leaning against Aidans chest, where he sat beside me on the bed.   
“We were here for both of you Hayles, but yeah, he definitely needed the support,” Peter admitted.  
“Wasn’t exactly the best way to spend the night,” Aidan shrugged as he pulled me closer to him and kissed the crown of my head.  
“I love you,” I murmured into his chest.  
“Love you more,” he chuckled.  
“Any news on how jellybeans doing?” Luke asked.  
“He’s a little fighter,” Aidan replied proudly, “Paediatrician is on his way down to talk to us soon.”  
“You guys should go get some sleep,” I said as Dean attempted to stifle a yawn, “I appreciate you all being here for us, but you’re all wrecked.”  
They agreed, and all hugged and kissed me as they left.  
The paediatrician arrived and my grandparents and Jared excused themselves to go get coffee in the cafeteria.  
The doctor talked for a while, giving us a clear picture of our son’s condition.   
Dad held my hand in comfort and Aidan remained on the bed beside me with an arm around my neck.  
After almost an hour of discussing his condition I finally asked the question we’d all been thinking.  
“So when can we take him home?”  
“I would like to keep in the incubator for at least a month and I won’t even start to think about discharging him from hospital care until he reaches full term,” the doctor replied.  
My face fell at the thought of remaining in LA for two months and upon seeing my reaction the doctor continued.  
“I understand it’s hard being so far from home at a time like this so if he shows good progress we might be able to discuss organising patient transport with a neonatal team, and we can transfer him to the BC Women’s in Vancouver,” he offered.  
“Really? That’s an option?” Aidan asked, “It won’t be too risky for him?”  
“As long as his lung capacity improves, then yes, it will be completely safe.”  
I smiled in thanks as the doctor left, and as the door closed behind him I realised how truly exhausted I was.  
I snuggled into Aidans chest and as my eyelids started to droop Aidan whispered soothingly in my ear.  
“Sleep now love, we’ll all still be here when you wake up.”  
“Dad and Jared should go back to work,” I countered sleepily.  
“I’m not going anywhere Hayles,” dad responded.  
I fought the heaviness of my eyelids to turn and look at him sternly.  
“You heard the doctors, we’re both gonna be fine, you have people back in Vancouver relying on you both. Go,” I urged.  
Dad reluctantly stood and kissed my forehead.   
“Fine,” he sighed, “I’ll go find Jared and organise some flights. I’ll call you when we get home.”  
I smiled in confirmation and soon I was fast asleep, safe in Aidan’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *07/08/14*  
> OMG So after finishing this chapter I've started and deleted this next chapter like 7 TIMES!!!!  
> I'm having so much trouble with the shift to present tense.  
> As much as i absolutely hate to do this the next chapter will revert back to original writing style and when i get a chance i will rewrite this chapter and the previous one. Hope you guys can be patient with me. What i have planned for the rest of this story is well worth the pain i'm going through trying to get it all down
> 
> *8/8/14* this chapter is now back in past tense


	32. Meeting Our Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley finally gets to meet her baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG So after finishing the last chapter I started and deleted this chapter like 7 TIMES!!!!  
> I had so much trouble with the shift to present tense.  
> As much as i absolutely hate to do this, this chapter will revert back to original writing style and when i get a chance i will rewrite the previous chapters. Hope you guys can be patient with me. What i have planned for the rest of this story is well worth the pain i'm going through trying to get it all down

Two days after everyone left, I was given the all clear by my doctor to go up to the NICU and meet my son.   
Shortly after being given the all clear a nurse brought a wheelchair to my room and Aidan helped me shift from the bed to it before he pushed me down the hallway to the elevator.   
Our son had been moved to a private room and as we entered I noted the small, but comfortable looking couch along one wall.   
There was also a rocking chair sitting in the far corner, and I smiled at the thought of sitting there in a few weeks’ time with my son asleep in my arms.  
Aidan pushed me towards the incubator and monitors that took up the majority of the room.   
As we stopped beside it Aidan helped me stand and held an arm around my waist as I lent on him for support.   
Once I felt secure in my stance I gazed down on the tiny little boy lying within the incubator with a cannula taped to his face.   
“He’s so little,” I murmured.  
“He’s already grown so much in the last few days,” Aidan soothed, “He’s gonna be ok.”  
I nodded but couldn’t help the tears that slowly fell.   
Aidan used his free hand to cup the side of my jaw as he wiped away the tears with the pad of his thumb.  
“We should give him a name soon,” he prompted, “Have you decided out of the two we talked about?"  
I was silent for a moment as I thought.   
The two names we had been deciding between were Oliver James and Logan Christopher.  
“He looks like an Oli to me,” I smiled.  
“Oliver James Turner it is then,” Aidan smiled back.  
I reached my hand through the hole in the side of the incubator and lightly touched one of his tiny little hands.   
"Hello Oli," I murmured, "I'm your mum."  
Without stirring in his sleep his fingers curled around my index finger and held on tightly.   
My smile widened at the contact and I started to cry again, although this time it was from happiness.   
In the following days I was diagnosed with a tachycardic heart arrhythmia which had developed when the placenta had detached and Oliver had gone into foetal distress and put too much strain on my heart.   
It had been the cause of my heart giving out during surgery and twice more during my recovery.   
After careful monitoring for a further two weeks I was discharged from the hospital almost three weeks after giving birth.  
Aidan and I spent almost every moment of the following days in Oliver’s hospital room.   
I would often fall asleep in the rocking chair or curled up against Aidan’s chest on the couch.  
Christmas Eve snuck up quickly and we probably would have remained completely unaware until Dad, Danni and JJ arrived unannounced.   
I was asleep in the rocking chair when they arrived and Aidan carefully jostled me awake.   
“Hayles, baby wake up,” he whispered softly.  
I grumbled as I woke and blinked against the light.  
“What?” I mumbled, “Is it Oli?”  
“No love, we have visitors,” he chuckled.  
At his words I turned to look over his shoulder and saw my family standing beside Oli’s incubator.  
“Merry Christmas Hayley,” Danni smiled, as dad walked over to hug me.


	33. Christmas in LA

“Why aren’t you guys in Texas?” I asked as dad helped me to my feet and drew me in for a hug.  
“Did you really think we’d leave you guys here on your own for the holidays?” dad asked.  
“Honestly, I forgot about Christmas,” I admitted.  
“Well apparently the cafeteria puts on a bit of a Christmas lunch for all the patients and their families, so we don’t have to worry about food,” dad explained.  
“Now enough about us,” Danni said, “How are you and Oli going?”  
“Oli’s doing really well,” Aidan replied, “He’s breathing unaided now so the doctors are really positive. He still needs the incubator to help maintain his temperature but they reckon he can come out of that sometime next week.”  
“And you Hayles,” dad asked, “How’s your heart bubs?”  
“I’m fine, they’ve got me on some medication to deal with the arrhythmia so I’m feeling good.”  
We spent the rest of the day catching up, and at the end of the day Dad and Danni went to their hotel while Aidan and I curled up on the couch in Oli’s room.   
Christmas day was a quiet affair and dad and Danni stayed for two days before flying to Dallas for the New Year.   
On New Year’s Eve Oliver was taken out of his incubator for the first time.  
I was sitting in the rocking chair as one of the nurses picked Oliver up and placed him in my arms.  
He looked up at me and smiled as he reached out one of his tiny little hands and grabbed hold of my shirt.  
I smiled back down at him as my eyes warmed with tears.  
Within moments of being placed in my arms, he snuggled his face into me and fell asleep, still grasping my shirt in his tiny fist.  
Aidan kissed the top of his head as he knelt beside the rocking chair and turned his gaze to me.  
“It feels so much more real now, you know?” he whispered.  
I nodded as I continued to watch our son sleeping in my arms.


	34. Returning Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I estimate i only have about 4 or 5 more chapters until I catch up with real life and I'm not really sure where to take this story once i get there so if anyone has anything they'd like to see let me know

We stayed at the hospital for a further two weeks before Oli’s doctor cleared him to be moved to Vancouver.  
We left LA in mid-January, 6 weeks after Oliver was born and a week before my original due date.   
We were accompanied on our flight home by a neonatal transport team, which included a nurse from the NICU and a respiratory therapist.  
The flight was just over 2 and a half hours long and Oliver slept the whole way.  
Once we landed in Vancouver we were met at the airport by a patient transport van, and we went straight to the BC Women’s Hospital where they had a room already set up for Oli.   
We spent three more weeks in the hospital before Oli was finally discharged and cleared to come home.  
During our stay we had a steady stream of visitors from both the cast and crew of Supernatural.   
When he wasn’t needed on set, Misha would often bring take away burgers to the hospital for us for lunch and would spend hours hanging out.  
Jared would stop by every day on the way home from set to check in and make sure we didn’t need anything and flowers were constantly being delivered from different members of the cast and crew.  
Dad would have dinner with us almost every night and on weekends would stay overnight and force Aidan and I to go home and get a decent night’s sleep.  
But eventually Oli was discharged and on a cold morning in early February, we loaded him into the car seat in the back of Danni’s SUV.  
When we arrived home, Aidan lifted Oli out of his car seat and we walked inside the house.  
Dad had set up JJ’s cot in one of the spare rooms and painted the walls blue, and when I walked in I noticed an old antique rocking chair in the corner. My hand smoothed over the varnished wood as Dad entered the room behind us.  
“It’s a gift from Gran and Pa,” dad explained as I admired the chair, “I mentioned to them that you loved the one in the NICU in LA and they dug it out of storage.”  
I grinned up at him as I sat down and Aidan past Oliver to me as he started to grizzle.  
“I’ll go warm up a bottle for him,” Aidan said as he left the room.  
I made shushing noises as I slowly rocked back and forth.  
“Your mum used to sit in that chair for hours when you were a newborn," dad murmured as he stood beside me looking down at his grandson, “you loved the movement and you’d start to cry whenever she stopped rocking.”  
“Mum used this chair?” I asked as a lump formed in my throat.   
Dad nodded and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder as Aidan came back into the room and passed a bottle to me before kneeling on the other side of the chair.  
As I sat there feeding Oliver, I felt content.  
I was sitting where once my mother had sat, while my husband and my dad watched me feed my son.  
Life didn’t get much better than this.


	35. Poldark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve combined Chapter 30 and 31 which is why the fic is now a chapter short. Also feel free to go back and reread Chapter 30 & 31 as they have now been changed back to past tense to fit with the rest of the story.

\---------------  
2 MONTHS LATER  
\---------------

At the beginning of April, Aidan and I packed up and flew to London with Oliver.  
From the airport we drove to Cornwall in a rental car and moved into a small cottage that Aidan had inherited from his grandparents.  
We had made the move to Cornwall as Aidan had landed the lead role in a BBC drama called Poldark.  
We arrived 2 weeks before filming started and while Aidan attended read-throughs and costume fittings, Oliver and I took in the sights and went on walks in the country side.  
By the time we arrived in Cornwall Aidan and I had fallen into a rhythm with Oli. I dealt with his feedings, for the most part, during the afternoons and evenings and I would put him to bed around 10pm.  
From the time we brought him home Oli was a great sleeper and once I put him down at 10 he wouldn’t wake again until 5 or 6am at which point Aidan would get up to feed him and let me sleep.   
So on Aidans first day of filming I woke to a light kiss on my forehead.  
“Morning love,” Aidan murmured his Irish accent thicker since returning the UK.  
I grumbled and rolled over, pulling the covers over my head.  
Aidan chuckled and I heard Oliver giggle at the sound.   
“Too early,” I mumbled sticking my head out from under the covers.   
“It’s 8, and I have to go or I’ll be late. Here,” Aidan replied laying Oli on the bed next to me.  
“He’s been fed and changed,” Aidan continued and he leaned in for a kiss.  
“See you for lunch?” I asked as he pulled away and shrugged into his jacket.  
“Sure thing, I look forward to it,” he smiled, “bye-bye Oli,” he cooed as he kissed our sons head and left the room.  
I remained in bed for another hour, lying on my side watching Oli wriggle about and tickling his tummy.  
Eventually I got up and got dressed before carrying Oliver out to the kitchen to make myself a late breakfast.  
I packed the nappy bag and placed Oli in the pram before leaving the house and slowly walking towards town.  
It was a cool day and I tucked Oli’s blanket tighter around him as I pulled a scarf out of the bottom of the pram and wrapped it around my neck.  
Despite the chill, the sun was blazing and it was nice to be outside.   
I arrived on set an hour later and after producing my ID to security I was allowed passed security and a PA directed me to where I would find Aidan.  
I arrived just as they were finishing a scene and broke for lunch.  
I waved, to get Aidans attention and he walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist as he kissed me.  
He then leaned over the pram to tickle Oli, who laughed in response.  
"How was your first day?" I asked as Aidan plucked Oli out of the pram and held him against his chest.  
"It's been good," he responded, leading the way to the lunch tent.  
I laughed as Oli pulled on Aidan’s hair and he grimaced as he tried to gently release Oli's grip.   
We sat down for lunch and I pulled a bottle from the nappy bag and passed it to Aidan as he fitted a bib around Oli's neck.  
"So," I smirked as I began eating my lunch, "Loving the costume."  
Aidan scoffed as he fed Oli.  
"The scar's pretty hot," I continued to joke.  
We chatted aimlessly until Oli finished eating and after quickly cleaning off his face Aidan turned to his own lunch.  
Not long after, we were joined at our table by a beautiful, slender red-head who appeared to be around my age.  
"And who is this little cutie, Aido?" She asked as she sat down.  
Aido? I thought, who the hell is this chick?  
"This is my son Oliver," Aidan responded proudly, "and this is Hayley, my wife. Hayles this is Elanor, she's a member of the cast."  
"Nice to meet you," I smiled.  
"Please, call me Ellie," she responded, a little too sweetly, "I didn't know you were married Aidan."  
"Yeah, almost 2 years now," he replied with a warm smile.  
Just then Oli had started to squirm and I picked him up from Aidans lap and soothed him against my chest.  
"Well you better watch out Hayley," Ellie continued, "I'll be Aidans wife soon."  
I stared at her for a moment before she laughed.  
"Ellie's playing Demelza," Aidan explained, "Ross's wife."  
"Oh, right," I laughed awkwardly.  
"Well I'll let you guys finish your lunch in peace," Ellie chuckled as she stood, "you're wanted on set in 20 minutes by the way Aidan."  
"Thanks," he replied as she left.  
"She's... intense," I hedged after she left.  
"You're not jealous are you?" Aidan chuckled.  
"Of course not!" I declared.  
We finished our lunch and I walked with Aidan back to set.  
He kissed me goodbye and gave Oli a quick tickle before going back to work.  
I stewed over Ellie on the walk home, but said nothing when Aidan came home for dinner.


	36. Best of my life

We quickly fell in to a routine in Cornwall.   
Aidan would wake up at 6 to feed and change Oliver and would spend the morning playing with his son and watching the morning news. He would then wake me at 8 before leaving for work and I would walk to the set to have lunch. I would spend the afternoon reading while Oli napped and then when Aidan arrived home I would go out for a run before dinner. We would then spend the rest of the night curled up on the couch watching TV, Oli went to bed at about 9 or 10 and we would go to sleep shortly after.  
Eleanor continued to be an issue for me, and although I was completely certain that she had feelings for Aidan, I trusted him and so I didn’t bring it up.   
My concerns about her were in no way lessened when I started to read the Poldark novels and realised some of the scenes that she would be filming with my husband.  
Our second wedding anniversary arrived at the end of April and I returned home from my run to find a garment bag hanging in the bathroom with a note pinned to it.

\-------------------------------  
HAYLEY, SHOWER AND PUT THIS ON.  
BE READY TO GO AT 7.  
LOVE AIDAN XXX  
\-------------------------------

I did as instructed and after I finished getting ready I made my way down the hallway towards the kitchen where I heard voices.  
Aidan was standing beside the kitchen table in a dark blue tightly fitted suit, holding Oliver on his hip.   
He looked up at me as I entered the room.  
“Oh god Hayles, you look beautiful,” he gasped.  
The dress he had picked out for me was a cobalt blue strapless dress that fell loosely to my knees and had a black sash synched around my waist.   
I smiled before I noticed Ellie standing in the kitchen.  
“You guys better go, or you’ll be late for your reservations,” she offered.  
I looked to Aidan questioningly.  
“Ellie offered to babysit.”  
I silently fumed as we walked to the car but decided not to let it ruin the night.  
We had dinner in a small elegant restaurant in a nearby town.  
“Happy 2nd wedding anniversary Hayles,” Aidan said as we finished dessert.  
“Happy anniversary,” I responded warmly.  
“I can’t believe we’ve been together for nearly 4 years,” Aidan said, “Best of my life.”  
“Mine too,” I responded with a smile.  
We walked back to the car and before Aidan turned the keys in the ignition I leaned forward and kissed him deeply.  
“Thank you for tonight,” I mumbled as we pulled away, “ever since Oli was born I find myself forgetting that I’m only 21. It’s nice to get out and just be a couple instead of being parents you know?”  
Aidan nodded and pulled me back in to extend our kiss.  
Sometime later I laughed as I breathed heavily.  
“Are we seriously making out in the car like teenagers?” I scoffed.  
“Mmhhmm,” Aidan responded.  
When we finally arrived home Oli was already asleep and as Aidan walked Ellie to her car, I went to the nursery to check in on him. I was leaning against the door frame watching him sleep when Aidan stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.  
“Let’s go to bed,” he murmured and I let him pull me from the room.


	37. JIBcon and unwanted surprises

“Aidan,” I began hesitantly one night during dinner, “Dad asked me to go to Rome next week for JIBcon…”  
“You want to go.”  
He didn’t phrase it as a question.  
“I do. But it would mean being gone for 5 days and I don’t want to take Oli away from you for that long,” I responded honestly.  
“Hayley if you wanna go, then you should. I won’t stop you doing the things that make you happy.”  
We talked about the logistics for the next hour and it was decided that I would fly to Rome the following Friday, where I would meet up with everyone else, go to the convention for 3 days and spend another 2 days seeing the sights before flying back to London.   
I called dad later that night to tell him the good news and he told me that Danni and Gen had offered to look after Oli while I was doing panels.  
One of Aidans PA’s drove Oli and me to the airport the next week and Oli slept during the two hour flight to Rome.  
Dad, Jared and Misha met me at the airport and helped me with my bags.  
I was excited to be at JIBcon as I hadn’t been since I was 15.   
The last four years I had been working and before that I had been too sick and so I had always stayed home when Dad flew to Rome.   
Over the course of the weekend I had a few panels, all of which were far more relaxed than the ones I had done at Comic Con.  
I had panels with Osric and Ty, and then another with Misha and Jared and on the last day I had a panel with Dad.   
During our panel Jared had been standing over at the side of the stage out of view with Oliver, when he started to cry.   
“Who brings a baby to a panel guys? Come on,” dad had jested.  
“Oh, I think that’s mine,” I had awkwardly responded.  
The fans had all laughed as Jared brought Oli up on stage.  
As soon as I took him in my arms, he stopped crying and became transfixed by my microphone.  
So for the remainder of our panel Oli had sat on my lap happily.  
We spent two days in Rome taking in the sights, but I was very happy to finally be heading home after almost a week away.  
I was greeted at the airport by the same PA that drove me there the previous week, and after stopping by the house to drop off my luggage, she drove me to the set and once we arrived I headed towards Aidans trailer.  
I didn’t bother knocking and walked straight inside, freezing solid when I took in the situation in front of me.  
Ellie was lying casually on the couch against one wall, wearing a small pair of shorts and a thin tank top through which I could see a black lacy bra.  
Behind her Aidan stood also frozen staring back at me.  
He was shirtless and his hands were frozen in the process of buttoning up his jeans.


	38. I Can't Forgive You

“Hayley please! It’s not what it looked like,” Aidan called as I turned and stormed out of the trailer.  
“Hayley! Please just listen to me!”  
I stopped suddenly and turned to face Aidan, tears streaming down my face.  
“Don’t!” I screamed, “Don’t you even try to justify this! I knew she had a thing for you but I ignored it because I TRUSTED YOU!”  
Feeling that I was upset, Oliver began to cry in my arms.  
Aidan started to step towards us and lifted his arms to take Oliver.  
I stepped back from him and pulled Oli tighter to my chest protectively.   
“Stay away from us,” I said.  
“I won’t have this fight here with everyone watching us,” I declared, “I will see you at home.”  
And with that I turned around and started walking home.  
By the time I got home, Oliver had cried himself out and was so exhausted that he fell asleep the moment I placed him in his crib.  
I went to the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed, put my face in my hands and cried.   
After I while I pulled out my phone and called dad.   
“Hayley,” he murmured sleepily, “Bub it’s 6am, what’s wrong?”  
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you,” I sobbed.  
“What happened?” he asked suddenly as he heard me crying.  
I explained what had happened as I cried and dad offered what comfort he could over the phone.  
We stayed on the phone for almost two hours before I heard the front door open and then close.  
“Dad, I think Aidan’s home. I’ll call you back ok?”  
“Alright bub. Just remember that there could be another explanation for this. I love you.”  
“I love you too, bye.”  
I quickly attempted to dry my eyes as Aidan walked into the bedroom.  
We were both silent for a moment.  
“I didn’t cheat on you,” Aidan said softly.  
“I want to believe you,” I admitted in reply.  
“Then believe me!”  
“How am I supposed to do that when I spend a week away from you for the first time since Oli was born and I come home to find you half naked in your trailer with a beautiful woman who is so clearly in love with you? I love you Aidan but how am I supposed to trust you? I can’t!”  
“Nothing happened! We were running lines in my trailer and I spilt my coffee so I had to change my clothes,” he explained, “that’s it!”  
Before I could continue a wave of dizziness rushed over me and I felt weak at the knees.  
“Hayley?” Aidan called out in concern.  
“I don’t feel so…” I mumbled as I collapsed.


	39. Hospital Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter this time

When I woke, I was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to a number of monitors.   
Aidan was sitting in the chair next to the bed with Oliver asleep on his chest.  
“Hey,” he said hesitantly when he noticed I was awake.  
“Hey,” I replied equally hesitant.  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Like someone took a sledge hammer to my chest,” I admitted, “What happened?”  
“You had a heart attack.”  
I stared at him for a moment in silence before he continued.  
“Hayley I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. God when you collapsed I was so scared I was gonna lose you.”  
He paused for breath and I reached out to take his hand in mine.  
“I believe you,” I murmured.  
“What?”  
“That nothing happened,” I clarified, “I believe you. I’m sorry I was just so hurt and…”  
“Hey it doesn’t matter,” he soothed, “nothing else matters, except that you’re ok. By the way, I called Jensen about an hour ago and I thought he was going to kill me.”  
I chuckled and then grimaced.  
“I called him before you got home. I needed someone to talk to,” I explained.  
“Well that makes sense.”  
I stayed in hospital for a few days before finally going home.  
Danni came to stay with us for a few weeks to help me with Oliver as I was under strict orders from my doctor take it easy.  
Shortly after Danni and JJ left, Aidan’s birthday rolled around and the production company in charge of Poldark threw a surprise party for him in Bristol.


	40. A Happy Birthday

Aidan was completely oblivious to the fact that anyone had made plans for his birthday and was overwhelmed when he was greeted on set that day with two cakes and a mountain of gifts that his fans had sent in.  
After filming finished for the day he was under the impression that I was taking him and Oliver out for a nice family dinner.  
So we all got dressed up nicely and then drove up to Bristol where the party was being held.  
The look on his face was priceless.   
Not only were his fellow cast members in attendance, but a large number of his fans had also been invited too.  
When we walked through the doors that led to the function room, Aidan was carrying Oli on his hip and holding my hand, and as he took in the party he gasped in shock and a huge smile lit up his face.  
It was a wonderful night and we stayed so late that Oliver fell asleep on my lap as I sat and watched as Aidan mingled with the guests.  
When we were finally ready to leave, we had said goodnight to everyone and Aidan had carried a sleeping Oliver back to the car.  
It was well after midnight by the time we arrived back at home and as I crawled into bed Aidan pulled me into his arms.  
“Thankyou for tonight,” he murmured.   
“I barely had anything to do with it,” I admitted, “My job was just to get you there and make sure it stayed a surprise.”  
“Well I still appreciate it. I love you.”  
“I love you more,” I replied as we always did.   
Two days after Aidans birthday I received a phone call from Dean.  
“Heya Hayles, what are you up too in two weeks?” he asked when I answered the phone.  
“Ummm, nothing?” I responded questioningly.  
“Wanna come to Australia with me for a convention?”  
“Seriously? In two weeks?”  
“Yeah, it’s something called Oz Comic Con and I did the Adelaide and Perth ones earlier in the year and now they’ve asked me to do the Melbourne one. They’re great fun,” he explained enthusiastically.  
“I’d love to go with you Dean, but what about Oli?” I asked.  
Aidan made a questioning face at me from where he sat across the table from me.  
“Dean wants me to go to a convention in Australia with him,” I explained to Aidan.  
“Oh Aidans there? Tell him I said hi,” Dean supplied.  
“Hang on, I’ll put you on speaker.”  
“Why don’t you call Danni and see whether she and Jensen would mind looking after him for a few days and you can just fly to Australia via Vancouver,” Aidan offered.  
“Yeah that sounds like a great idea,” Dean added, “and you know the little man would love to see JJ again.”  
“Ok I’ll call and ask,” I surrendered.  
“Here use my phone,” Aidan replied, pulling his phone from his pocket and throwing it across the table, “that way Dean can stay on the line.”  
I quickly checked the time difference to make sure I wasn’t calling in the middle of the night.  
After 2 rings dad picked up.  
“Hey kiddo, everything ok?” he greeted.  
“Everything’s fine dad, I was just wondering whether I could get you to babysit for a few days in two weeks’ time. There’s a convention in Australia so I was hoping I could drop Oli off with you and Danni for 4 or 5 days while I’m gone,” I asked, only just shy of pleading.  
“I’ll have to double check that it’s ok with Danni but I would love to spend some time with Oli,” dad responded enthusiastically.  
“Great! Well call me back when you’ve talked to Danni and I’ll start looking at flights,” I replied.  
“Alright, will do. Talk soon, love you.”  
“Love you too dad.”  
“Alrighty then,” I said once I hung up, “looks like I’m going to Australia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I have finally worked out an ending for this story and it is coming up quick. I only have an estimated 3 or 4 more chapters to go. I'm not 100% sure yet. I only have Oz Comic Con and SDCC to cover before I reach the epilogue so it just depends how much detail i give about each convention as to whether they get 1 or 2 chapters each.  
> Hope you guys have enjoyed this story half as much as i've enjoyed writing it :D


	41. Oz Comic Con

The first thing I did when my flight landed in Melbourne was call Danni.  
She laughed when she picked up.   
“Hayley you haven’t even been gone 24 hours,” she greeted.  
“Humour me,” I responded and she switched to video so that I could see that Oliver was sleeping peacefully.  
“I gotta go Hayles but I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Danni said after a while.  
“Yeah ok, talk later.”  
I met up with Dean at the hotel and we ordered in room service for dinner before getting an early night.  
We spent most of the following day sightseeing as I had never been to Melbourne before heading to a dinner organised by Comic Con that allowed us to interact with some of our fans.  
It was a great night and I had a lot of fun.  
Before I went to sleep that night though, I called Danni to check in on Oli and then called Aidan.  
“Hey beautiful,” Aidan greeted.  
“Hey, miss you. How’s Bristol?”  
“It’s fine, missing you and Oli though. How’s Melbourne?”  
We talked for an hour until I started to yawn.  
“You should get some sleep,” Aidan chuckled.  
“Mmm, I love you,” I replied sleepily.  
“I love you more,” Aidan said as he always did.  
“Not possible!” I responded with sincerity and Aidan chuckled before we hung up.  
Oz Comic Con, it turned out, was just like most other conventions I’d attended.   
On the Saturday I had a panel with Dean in the largest room.  
The fans offered up some really great questions, but the last question was by far our favourite.  
A fan had asked us to recount some behind the scenes stories and both Dean and I had made the most of the fact that Aidan wasn’t there to defend himself by recounting some embarrassing tales about him, much to the delight of the crowd.  
We ended the first day of the con with autograph sessions.   
Dean’s session had already been going for half an hour when I sat at the table next to him for my own session.  
As I sat I couldn’t help but laugh when I looked over and saw a little Kili figurine sitting on the front of Dean’s table.   
He looked up at the sound of my laugh and stopped signing to turn to me.  
“A fan gave it to me,” he explained, “Said it wasn’t right for me to be here without Aidan.”  
I laughed again as the first fan approached me for an autograph.   
I smiled up at her and noticed that she was cosplaying as Dean Winchester.  
"Sonovabitch," I said in lieu of a greeting.   
“It's an honour to meet you,” she replied with a smile as she handed over a photo of Jared, Dad and I that was taken on set after my last day of shooting.   
“Oh I love this photo!” I commented as I signed the bottom of the photo and she smiled shyly in thanks.  
"What's your name?" I asked.  
"Kate," She responded.  
"Nice to meet you Kate. Do you mind if I take a photo of your costume?" I asked.   
She agreed and as I pulled out my phone I explained, "Jared and I have a competition over who can get photos of the most Team Free Will costumes."  
She laughed and thanked me for the autograph before I turned to the next person in line.  
A little while later I noticed the same girl approach Dean’s table.   
She must have had a photo from Dean's show, The Almighty Johnsons, because overheard him ask about what she thought of the show.  
"Oh I loved it," she replied, "Anders was my favourite, although I have to say he was such a dick."  
Dean laughed hard at that and agreed.  
"Have you seen all three seasons?" I heard Dean ask.  
"Yeah, I was so upset when it finished. After the finale I was just sitting there like, OMG now what do I do? I need more," she blushed as she realised what she'd said.  
"Oh I was the same," Dean reassured her, "When we finished filming I was just like, but it can't be over! I was having too much fun."  
We signed autographs for an hour and a half before leaving to get some dinner.  
Both Dean and I had individual photo ops first thing Sunday morning.  
I smiled at the first fan, and then laughed when I recognised her.  
“It’s Kate right?” I asked as she walked towards me.   
“Yeah it is,” she responded with a warm smile, “Good morning.”  
“Good morning,” I returned, “Love your Cas cosplay,” I offered.  
“Thanks,” she beamed back.  
We smiled for the camera.  
“Hey before you go can I get another one with you for my competition?” I asked her.  
“Of course!” she responded enthusiastically.  
“OK so can you like, cross your forearms over each other and do the Vulcan Salute with both hands?” I asked, and as I raised my hands to show her she gasped.  
“You’re a Nerdfighter?” she asked.  
“Yeah, how can anyone not be? John and Hank are pure genius,” I laughed.  
We took the second photo and then after a quick farewell I turned to the next fan.  
An hour later I left the photo booth and made my way to my individual panel.  
Like with the panel I had with Dean the previous day, the fans all asked really great questions and I spent my time recounting behind the scenes stories from Supernatural, Being Human and the Hobbit. One fan asked what it was like acting alongside my dad and then my husband.  
“They’re always the best scenes,” I responded honestly.  
“My first acting gig, if you don’t count Ten Inch Hero, was on Being Human and even before Aidan and I were dating he was one of the easiest actors to work with. And then when I finally appeared on Supernatural it was just so much fun and I though the crew were going to kill us because Jared, dad and I just spent so much time goofing around and we always had to do about 7 takes to get through our scenes because we’d start laughing at each other. The Hobbit on the other hand was a really weird experience. Even though I had scenes with Aidan, we barely acted together because we always had to be on different green screens, because of our height difference. As far as just working on the same project as Aidan, there’s nothing I love more. Our jobs often separate us, I mean while I’m here Aidan is back in Britain working, so it’s always great when our work allows us to spend every day together.”  
After a couple more questions about Supernatural I got another question about Aidan.  
“Aidan is currently working on Poldark, and you’ve proven that you can pull off a British accent so should we expect you to make a guest appearance on Poldark?” he asked.  
“Oh, I honestly hadn’t even thought about that. Ummm, I mean if they asked me to I would love to. After Aidan got cast I started ready Winston Graham’s books and I’m becoming quite a fan, so yeah, now that you’ve mentioned it, I would definitely love to make an appearance. Maybe I’ll see what roles are up for grabs in season 2.”  
I answered some more questions and then eventually the panel drew to a close and I made my way to the green room for lunch.  
I had nothing else until the end of the day so I snuck into the back of the Veronica Mars Panel and then caught up with the boys as they left.   
I had briefly met Jason Dohring when he had guest starred on Supernatural so we spent the afternoon chatting before I met up with Dean for our joined Photo session.  
We smiled for photos for 2 hours and towards the end I was starting to get tired.  
Despite my exhaustion, I laughed until I started to cry when the last two fans walked in to the photo booth.  
Dean joined me in laughing when he saw them too.  
There, standing in front of us, were the two best Fili/Kili cosplayers I’d ever seen.  
“OMG,” I gasped when I caught my breath again, “If I didn’t know Aidan was in Bristol and Dean was standing right next to me I would have been convinced.”  
Dean agreed and we recollected ourselves to take a photo.

We stayed in Melbourne until the following afternoon, where we both went our separate ways as Dean flew back to New Zealand and I boarded a flight to Vancouver.  
“See you soon Dean?” I asked as we hugged goodbye.  
“Yeah, definitely, although my schedules pretty filled up for the next few months so I’ll probably see you at the BotFA premiere in December,” he responded, “Give Oli a big kiss for me.”  
“Will do,” I promised, “I’ll give him the biggest hugs and kisses from Uncle Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the fan I chatted to at Melbourne Oz Comic Con Sunday morning who told me about how she'd given Dean a little Kili figurine.  
> Also the interaction between the fan and Dean at the signing was what actually happened when I got his autograph.


	42. Vancouver, then home again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have some lovely fluff

I scooped up Oli into my arms the moment I walked into the dad’s house.   
“Hey there beautiful,” I cooed, “Did you miss mummy? ‘Cause mummy missed you so much!”  
I kissed his cheeks and nuzzled at his chest until he started to giggle.  
I stayed the night before flying on to London.  
Aidan was sitting on the porch when we finally made it home and he pulled both Oli and I into a bone crushing hug.  
“I missed you so much,” he murmured.  
“I missed you too,” I replied as we walked into the house.  
When I entered the kitchen I was greeted by a candle lit dinner.  
“Oh Aidan. It’s perfect.”  
We ate and then once Oliver had fallen asleep in Aidan’s arms, we put him to bed and then headed to bed ourselves.  
As we lay in bed later that night, I thought about how lucky I was.  
I turned my head slightly where it was pillowed on Aidan’s chest and kissed him.   
“Hmmm,” Aidan hummed in contentment.  
I squirmed up in Aidans grasp to lean against the little dip of his shoulder.  
“I love you,” I murmured as I kissed his collarbone.  
“I love you more,” he replied, kissing my forehead.  
“Not possible,” I hummed.  
We lay there like that for a while before Aidan broke the silence.  
“Hayley?” he asked questioningly.  
I moved my head so that I could look at his face.  
He was staring straight at the ceiling.  
“We never really talked about what happened when you came home from Rome.”  
“Aidan we don’t have to,” I said.  
“Please, I need to be sure that you know I’d never do that to you.”  
“I know Aidan.”  
He still didn’t look at me so I rolled over until I was sitting across his hips and placed my hands on either side of his face.  
“I know,” I said again, forcing him to look at me.  
“I know you love me and I love you more than anything. I was just jealous and stupid and I hate myself for not trusting you,” I admitted.  
He pulled me deeply in to another kiss and we didn’t speak again for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so we have nearly reached the end.  
> Chapter 43 will be the last chapter, although i will have an epilogue and then a timestamp chapter for you
> 
> Thankyou for all the lovely feedback. Especially Taika, i have loved reading your comments.  
> I don't want to spoil the ending for you by updating the tags yet, but be prepared for a really unexpected conclusion.


	43. San Diego Comic Con - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter because it just kept growing so the next chapter will be the last and then there will be the epilogue and bonus time stamp chapter

\-------------  
3 WEEKS LATER  
\-------------  
Aidan drove Oliver and me to London early Sunday morning and helped me check in our luggage. “Ok so you’ve got everything?” he asked fussing over Oliver nervously. “Yes Mum,” I joked, “We’ll only be gone a week!” “Yeah I know,” he sighed, “I’m just gonna miss you.” “I’ll miss you too,” I replied as I leaned in to kiss him. “I love you,” he said when we pulled apart. “I love you more,” I smiled as he kissed the top of Oli’s head. “Not even possible,” he replied finishing off our routine before turning to Oli, “You be good for mummy ok?” I laughed and then we were interrupted as our flight was called. “I’ll call you when we land in Vancouver,” I promised as I walked away from Aidan to board the flight. We stayed in Vancouver for a few days before flying to San Diego with Dad, Jared, Gen and Misha for Comic Con. JJ had a cold, so Danni decided to stay home. Comic Con was just like it always was, we had photo ops and autograph sessions and I participated in two main panels in Hall H. The first of which was on Saturday for the Hobbit. The panel consisted of Peter, Philippa, Benedict, Cate, Orlando, Luke, Lee, Graham, Elijah, Andy and myself, and was hosted by Stephen Colbert. When Stephen introduced me I walked out onto the stage and sat down next to Orlando. I laughed when I looked out into the crowd and saw in the second row, Jared’s head towering above everyone else. Once I spotted Jared and then saw Misha and dad sitting on either side of him, and Oliver was sitting on dads lap smile up at me, so I quickly waved at him and I smiled when he tried to wave back. Luke was being introduced as I was waving and smiling at Oliver. “Who are you waving at?” he asked as he took his seat next to me. “Oliver,” I explained and pointed him out in the crowd. Luke waved to and we saw Oli giggle, although we couldn’t hear him over the crowd. The highlight of the panel was when Stephen and I got into a fight over who was the biggest Tolkien fan. “Do I need to challenge you to a trivia competition like I did with Philippa?” he asked. “Bring it on,” I laughed and Peter and Philippa groaned. “Alright then,” Stephen accepted, “at the next premiere we will see who is truly the greatest fan.” That night I went out for dinner with dad, Jared, Gen and Misha, and we were also joined by Luke and Orlando. We spent the entire night laughing and Oliver enjoyed spending time with his extended family. After dinner we all started walking back to the hotel, when my phone rang. “Hey there gorgeous,” I answered. “Same to you,” Aidan laughed, “How’s Comic Con?” “It’s great, just had dinner with some of the boys,” I replied. “Is Oli behaving himself?” “Yeah, he’s been perfectly well behaved. I think he’s just loving all the attention,” I laughed, looking over at Oli giggling in Luke’s arms. We stayed on the phone for over an hour, during which time I returned to my hotel room and bathed and changed Oli. I put the phone on speaker so that Aidan could read Oli his bedtime story, and when he finally fell asleep I collapsed onto my bed with the phone. “So I was thinking about what we’re gonna do when you finish filming next month,” I hedged. Aidan hummed at me questioningly when I paused. “We should buy a house. I mean we’ve been married for over two years and Oli is almost 7 months old. Don’t get me wrong the cottage is beautiful and it’s really convenient for when you’re filming in Cornwall, but it’s not really where I want Oli to grow up you know?” “We should by a house in Vancouver,” Aidan agreed. “Really?” “Yeah, I mean, I know you miss seeing Jensen, and it’ll be a nice home base.” “I have I ever told you how amazing you are Aidan Turner?” “Yeah, a few times, but it’s always nice to hear,” he responded with a chuckle. “Well you are amazing and I love you and I have no idea how I got this lucky.” “I love you more.” “Not possible,” I yawned. “Get some sleep Hayles, talk to you tomorrow.”


	44. San Diego Comic Con - Part 2

I woke with a start, and checked the time to see that it was 5 in the morning.  
I was too worked up from the nightmare and knew I wouldn’t get back to sleep so I pulled out my busted up notebook and started writing about the nightmare and as I wrote song lyrics started popping into my head so I flipped to a new page and started scribbling them down. After an hour I started to write a melody to go with the lyrics and by the time Oliver woke a little after 7.30 I had almost the entire song composed.  
Once I got Oli up and as I fed him breakfast I called Aidan.  
“Hey baby, sleep well?” Aidan asked when he answered the phone.  
“Not really,” I admitted, “I woke up really early from a nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep.”  
“Wanna talk about it?” he asked with concern.  
“Not really, maybe when I get home. On the upside it prompted me to write a new song.”  
“Do I get to hear it anytime soon?” he asked curiously.  
“Mmmmm, I’m not sure. I won’t work for me… need to find someone else to sing it.”  
We talked for a while longer about Aidan’s day on set before I noticed the time.   
“I better go babe, I haven’t had breakfast yet and we have a panel at 10,” I said.  
“Ok, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Aidan sighed, “I love you.”  
“I love you more,” I replied warmly.  
“Not even possible,” he replied before we hung up.  
After I hung up, I went down stairs for breakfast with Dad and then we made our way to the San Diego Convention Centre for the Supernatural panel.  
We all stood off to the side of stage as the host introduced us one by one. Jeremy went on stage first, followed by myself and the dad, Jared, Misha and Mark.  
We answered a lot of questions and I was having a really great time, discussing season 9 with the fans.  
Most of the questions were focused on Demon!Dean which I really enjoyed talking about.  
“I know exactly how you feel,” I told one fan, when they mentioned the shocking nature of the finale.  
“I had no idea what was coming and when Dean was stabbed by Metadouche I was in absolute tears. I was hyperventilating and freaking out and then when Deans eyes opened at the end and were black I thought I was gonna pass out. I called dad and I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t even speak.”  
Dad laughed beside me and I poked my tongue out.  
We then showed some of the season 9 gag reel and some sneak peek clips for season 10.  
As the videos started to play on the big screen behind us I started to feel really dizzy and nauseous.  
As the panel ended we all stood up and started to walk of the stage when my knees went weak and I almost fell over.  
“You ok, bub?” dad asked as I staggered.  
“No,” I replied, shaking my head which only made the dizzy feeling worse.  
“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked panicked, placing his hands on my shoulders and turning me to look at him.  
“My chest,” I grimaced, “I…”  
And I collapsed into dads arms.


	45. EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue is written by Aidan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I love you and I'm not ready to say goodbye to this story the epilogue will be coming to you in 4 parts. I tried to edit it down but there is just too much left to cover.

I was in Bristol when I got the call at around 8pm.  
It was Misha that called me.  
Both Jensen and Jared were inconsolable.  
He called using Hayley’s phone so I answered with a casual greeting.   
“Hey babe, having a blast?”  
“Aidan, it’s Misha,” he responded quietly, far too serious for Misha.   
“Hey Meesh, What’s up? Everything ok?” I asked mildly concerned by his tone.  
“No it’s not,” he responded.   
He sighed before continuing.  
“You need to get yourself here. Hayley’s collapsed. Aidan I’m so sorry, the doctors say there’s nothing they can do…”  
The rest of his words fell away as I fell to my knees.  
“I’ll be on the next flight,” I choked out before hanging up.  
17 hours later I arrived in San Diego and was picked up from the airport by Cliff, Jared and Jensen’s bodyguard.  
As I walked through the waiting room of the hospital I saw familiar faces turn to watch me pass in silence.   
Everyone who had been on the Hobbit panel the previous day was there.   
Peter stood and clapped a hand on my shoulder in comfort as I walked past them, and then I was passing Hayley’s Supernatural family.  
I nodded at Misha as I walked by him and then I was standing in front of the door to Hayley’s hospital room and I froze.   
After a few moments standing in the hallway I steeled myself and walked through the door.  
The first thing I noticed was Jared and Jensen sitting on either side of the hospital bed.   
From there my gaze was drawn to the bed itself and my heart broke.  
Hayley was laying still, eyes closed and hooked up to multiple different monitors.  
There were wires and tubes hooked up to her including a tube down her throat and one in her nose.  
Both Jensen and Jared looked up as I walked in the room and Jared silently rose from his seat as I approached the bed.   
I sat, and took hold of Hayley’s hand and held it to my check as tears began to fall.  
“What happened?” I choked.  
“She had another heart attack,” Jensen replied, voice husky for crying.  
“She’s gonna be ok right?” I asked.  
Jensen silently shook his head, and was saved from answering as the doctor entered the room.  
“Mr. Turner?” he asked.  
“Yeah,” I replied.  
“Has anyone explained your wife’s condition to you?”  
“No, I just got here.”  
“Well, I’m sorry to say that your wife has had a severe heart attack, and while the CPR performed by first responders was successful in reviving her we have been unable to establish any sign of brain activity.”  
I stared at him blankly.  
“What do you mean?” I asked, “She’s gonna wake up, right?”  
“I’m sorry Mr Turner, at this stage, while the machines are breathing for her and keeping her heart beating she is brain dead. There’s no waking up from this. I’m sorry.”  
I started to sob as I leaned against Hayley’s side and the room emptied, until I was alone with my wife.  
“Don’t you leave me Hayley!” I sobbed, “Don’t you dare.”  
Jensen returned an hour later with Oliver crying in his arms.  
“Aidan, I’m sorry, he won’t settle. He knows something wrong,” he said, passing Oli to me as I sat up from where I had been slumped against the bed.   
I clutched Oli to my chest as his cried soothed.  
“How am I supposed to do this without her?” I asked.  
“I don’t know, it doesn’t seem real,” Jensen admitted as he fell into the chair on the other side of the bed.  
We sat in silence for what felt like days.  
Jensen broke the silence.  
“We should turn off the life support.”  
I stared at him.   
“No!” I exploded, “No, I won’t kill her.  
Oli fussed in my arms, where he was sleeping.  
“Aidan, she’s already gone. She wouldn’t want this.”  
“I know, she always said she never wanted to be a vegetable, but I can’t.”  
I sat there for another day before I accepted Jensen’s decision and signed the necessary paperwork.  
Everyone said their goodbyes and then it was just me and her.   
It seemed like it had always been that way.  
Just Hayley and me.  
“I love you more,” I whispered as I swept her hair back and kissed her forehead.  
Hayley Grace Turner was declared dead at 9:32am on the 29th of July 2014.


	46. EPILOGUE: Two Weeks After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayley's Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some serious feels.
> 
> The Song is obviously Mayday Parade's 'Terrible Things'

I stood from my seat and walked towards the podium at the front of the large church.  
As I removed my speech from my pocket I looked out over the huge crowd.  
I saw Hayley’s family sitting in the front rows: Jensen and Danni, Jensen’s parents and his siblings and their partners and children.  
In the rows behind them I saw co-stars from Ten Inch Hero, Being Human, Supernatural and The Hobbit and they were just the faces I knew.  
There were so many people that had known and loved her, so many people that needed to be here to say goodbye.

I took a deep breath and looked at our son, on Jensen’s lap, before I began.

“Hayley Grace was the clichéd Great love of my life.  
She was my soul mate.  
I spent 27 years of my life without her and the idea of spending another minute alone, now that she's gone is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to contemplate.  
Hayley was beautiful and smart and funny.  
She was the best person I know.  
We only had 4 years together but it felt like a lifetime.  
Hayley called me a few hours before she died.  
She’d had a nightmare and though she didn’t tell me what it was about, she wrote it in her notebook.  
She wrote:

Last night I dreamed that I died. It’s not the first time. Ever since I became a mother I’ve feared that something would happen and I would leave Aidan and Oliver the way mum left Dad and me. The dream is always different. Some nights it’s my heart, other nights my cancer comes back or I get hit by a car or struck by lightning. However it happens, I always die, but even though I’m gone, I’m still there. Like a ghost. And I have to watch Aidans pain. Watch Oli grow up without me, and then when he's old enough he asks about me. I think about what Aidan would say to him all the time now. How would he explain to our son how much I loved him? How much I didn’t want to leave either of them. It breaks my heart.  
“Underneath this diary entry she wrote a song” I continued.  
“She told me about the song that morning on the phone.  
Told me that she needed to find someone to sing it.  
So I asked some friends of ours to record it last week and I’d like to share it with you.  
Hayley’s aunt, Mackenzie, has made a video to go with it, but before I play it for you, I’ll just say that there won’t be a day that goes by that I won’t miss her.  
Whenever we said I love you, the other would reply with, ‘I love you more’.  
Those are the last four words Hayley ever said to me.  
I’d replied with ‘Not even possible’, the way we always did.  
I wish I could tell her that one more time.”

 

I returned to my seat as the piano intro began to play over the speakers and I took Oli into my arms as I looked up at the projector screen.

 

The screen lit up with a home video of Hayley running around in a park with Jensen. She looked about 5 or 6.

**By the time I was your age, I'd give anything**  
**To fall in love truly, was all I could think**

_Jensen took the camera and turned to show that a woman i recognised from photos as Hayley's mum was now tackling Hayley to the ground as they both laughed._

 

I felt Jensen's shoulders shake next to me.

 

**That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams  
The most beautiful woman, that I'd ever seen**

_Hayley was 14 and smiling up at the camera as Jensen shaved her hair in the bathroom and she poked out her tongue_  
  
**She said, "Boy can I tell you a wonderful thing?**  
**I can't help but notice, you're staring at me.**

_Hayley and I sat in an empty train carriage laughing silently at each other_

I recognised the scene as behind the scenes footage from Being Human.

**I know I shouldn't say this, but I really believe,  
I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me."**

_Hayley sitting on the front porch of Jensen’s house playing her guitar._  
  
**Now, son, I'm only telling you this**  
**Because life can do terrible things.**

_Hayley lying on the couch, reading a book with her head in my lap, smiling up at me as I said something to her._  
  
**Now, most of the time we'd have too much to drink**  
**And we'd laugh at the stars and we'd share everything**

_The two of us wearing matching Christmas sweaters in front of a Christmas Tree._ **  
**

**Too young to notice, and too dumb to care**  
**Love was a story that couldn't compare.**

_Hayley, Dean and myself dancing in our Hobbit costumes_ **  
**

**I said, "Girl, can I tell you a wonderful thing?  
I made you a present with paper and string.**

_Hayley, Jensen and Jared pulling faces on the Supernatural set and laughing_ **  
**

**Open with care now, I'm asking you, please.**  
**You know that I love you, will you marry me?"**

_Our first dance at our wedding_ **  
**

**Now, son, I'm only telling you this  
Because life can do terrible things**

_Hayley sitting on panel at a convention, smiling as she answered a question._ **  
**

**You'll learn, one day, I'll hope and I'll pray,**  
**That God shows you differently.**

_Hayley sitting on a couch holding JJ and making faces at her._ **  
**

**She said, "Boy can I tell you a terrible thing?  
It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks.**

_The two of us walking down the Red Carpet for the second Hobbit movie, Hayley 8 months pregnant_ **  
**

**Please, don't be sad now, I really believe,**  
**You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."**  
**Slow, so slow I fell to the ground on my knees.**

_Hayley holding Oliver when we first brought him home as I wrapped my arms around them both._ **  
**

**So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose**  
**If you're given the choice, then I beg you to choose**

_Us kissing after I cut the cake at my birthday party in Bristol._

**To walk away, walk away, don't let her get you.**  
**I can't bear to see the same happen to you.**

_Hayley holding Oli in her arms and talking to Luke before she noticed the camera and waved, smiling._

It looked like it was taken at Comic Con, either the day before or the day she died.

**Now, son, I'm only telling you this  
Because life can do terrible things**

 

As the song ended and the screen faded to black I sat there, staring at the blank screen with tears running down my face.  
The priest returned to the podium and asked everyone to stand, and asked the pole bearers to make their way to the front.  
I past Oliver to Hayley's grandmother as Jensen and I stood  
I stood by the front of the coffin and laid my hand on it as we were joined by Jared, Josh, Misha and Dean.  
As the music started, the six of us lifted the coffin onto our shoulders and began the slow walk down the aisle.  
We were all crying as we walked to the sound of The Band Perry's 'If I Die Young'.


	47. EPILOGUE: Five Months After

I stood on the steps of the Odeon cinemas in Leicester Square, London, alongside my fellow cast members as Peter was passed the microphone.  
“Hello, thank you all for being here tonight for the premiere of The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies,” he began.  
“It’s been 20 years since I first started to work on creating a film set in Middle Earth and it has been one hell of a journey.   
I would like to thank all you wonderful fans who have made this all possible.   
If it wasn’t for the support that we have received from you all then the Hobbit would never have gotten off the ground.”  
I leaned over to whisper to Dean next to me as Peter continued to speak.  
“How long do you reckon he’ll keep going for?” I chuckled.  
“I give him another 20 minutes,” Dean laughed back.  
Peter, however, started to wrap up his speech after only 5 more minutes.  
“And so, before we all head inside to watch the film, I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this entire trilogy in memory of a member of cast who we all miss dearly.   
As most of you will know, we lost the incredibly talented Hayley Turner a few months ago.”  
Peter paused for a moment and I felt my eyes grow warm with the threat of tears.  
Dean reached over and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder as Peter continued to speak.  
“It feels wrong to be standing up here tonight without her standing on the stage behind me, fidgeting with anticipation.   
She was truly a joy to work alongside and her passion for this story was one of my greatest motivators.   
She pushed me to tell the best story I could and I will forever miss her as a colleague and a friend.   
Before her passing Hayley filmed an introduction piece that we were going to use for the DVD set, but in light of losing her I feel she would want me to share this with you all tonight.”  
As everyone turned to face the big screens lining Leicester Square, Peter looked over to me and I nodded my thanks before turning towards the screens.  
Hayley’s face appeared on them.  
“Hello my fellow Tolkienites,” she smiled.  
“Our story as finally reached its end.   
It’s been 13 years since Peter Jackson introduced us to a little Hobbit called Frodo and what an unexpected journey it has been.   
Whether you came to the movies, already a fan of the books or whether you came to them with no preconceived notions about the tale, just like Bilbo himself, we have all been there and back again.   
I, like many of you, grew up on the tales of Middle Earth and it has been an honour to have been a part of bringing those tales to life.   
In the years to come, when we look back on this story, we will remember, remember everything that happened.   
The good, the bad, those that survived and those that did not.   
These 6 movies will remain for generations to come and that is something truly remarkable and something I will be proud of for the rest of my life, so thankyou for allowing me to share this journey with you.”  
The image faded from the screen and the crowd was silent for a moment.  
I wiped the tears that had begun to roll down my face and motioned for Peter to pass me the microphone.  
“May your memory never fade,” I said, before we all turned and walked up the stairs and into the theatre.


	48. Authors Note

In the year since I lost Hayley, I’ve been reading through the notebook she kept with her all the time.   
She’d write everything in it; quotes she liked, random song lyrics, pictures or diary entries.   
As I read through it I noticed how some pages she had marked the top corner with a star and I started to take note of those pages.   
They turned out to be this story you’ve just read.   
So I decided to write it all down and with some help from those that were with her in San Diego on her last day I managed to put together the last chapter.  
Hayley meant so much, to so many people, that I wanted to share her story with the world.   
I loved that Hayley wrote her entire life down, but only considered it a story worth telling after meeting me.   
It reminds me of how much she loves me.  
I miss her every day and I’m so thankful to have this book, so that one day I can show our son how much he meant to her.  
Through this book he can know her.  
Thank you for reading and thank you for keeping Hayley’s memory alive.  
Farewell, Hayley, may your memory never fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this story. I've enjoyed it so much.  
> Stay tuned for a bonus chapter that would appear in the 25th anniversary edition of this book if it was really Hayleys autobiography.


	49. Bonus Chapter: 26 Years After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This letter was added to the end of the book for the 25th anniversary of it's publication.

Dear Mum,  
I’m getting married today. It felt wrong that you weren’t gonna be there with me so I’m writing this as I sit at your grave.  
It’s been 26 years since you left us, and even though I don’t have any memories of you, I miss you every day. Dad collected up a whole heap of photos and videos of you from when I was a baby and I look at them all the time. I’m so greatful that you were an actress so I can watch the movies and shows you were in and know what you’re voice sounded like. I read your book all the time. When I read it I can almost imagine you’re here, telling me the stories.   
I don’t know if you can see us down here, but I hope you can. I went to college. Dad said you would have been proud. I’m a teacher now, that’s how I met Allison. I bet you’d like her mum. She’s beautiful and funny. We met on my first day of teaching. I walked into the teachers’ lounge and she was ready The Hobbit. So I walked over to her and asked her what she thought of it. I told her my parents used to read it to me when I was a kid, because it was my mum’s favourite book. When she asked if I’d seen the old movies, I laughed and told her my parents were both in them. She didn’t believe me at first, so our first date had been watching them.   
After we watched all three she still didn’t believe me so I’d pulled up old interviews on YouTube and shown them to her. We spent hours watching behind the scenes footage of you and dad and uncle Dean goofing around on set.   
I knew she was the one for me. Is this how you felt when you met dad?  
Dad misses you. I visit him as much as I can but it’s hard.   
He moved to Dallas a few years ago. So now he lives near Grandpa and Grandma and Uncle Jared and Aunt Gen. I think it helps him to be near them because they knew you. We still have Christmas at Great Grandmas the way you used to. When I was little nobody talked about you much but the last few years we’ve told stories about you every Christmas eve. I’m glad we have this new tradition. I know how hard it must have been for them all to lose you, but I’m glad they can laugh about the things you used to do and say. It makes me feel like you’re still with us.   
Growing up dad I started saying 'love you more' to each other and sometimes when I said it he would reply with ‘not even possible’ and I’d see his eyes mist with tears. I didn’t understand for a long time until dad gave me your book. Now I get it.   
I love you more mum.  
Love always,  
Oliver James Turner  
xxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you want to chat you can find my on tumblr at  
> http://an-abundance-of-sophie.tumblr.com/


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